Review: Goofy Golf Deluxe

By: Kirk Hiner

Genre: Strategy

Format: CD

Developer: Squeegee Software

Publisher: Squeegee Software

Minimum Requirements: PowerPC, MacOS 7.5.3, 16MB RAM, 40MB hard disk space, 640x480 monitor at thousands of colors, CD-ROM

Network Feature: No

3Dfx Support: No

Retail Price: $24.95

Availability: Out of print, but still available here.

I hate golf.

There. I said it. Hate me if you will, but I just don't understand the point of hitting a little ball around if there are no windmills or loop-di-loops to navigate. 'Cause actually, although I hate golf, I love--and I mean love--miniature golf. I force my fiancee to play it with me incessantly, and we can't pass a course I've never played without stopping to give it a try (or at least making it back within a week).

I own my own putter, I enter tournaments...I even care about how the course is manufactured (concrete based...not wood...with solid wood or concrete walls...not brick).

Apparently, I'm not alone here. Despite popular opinion, it's miniature golf, moreso than even baseball, that's America's favorite pastime. This is why I'm both surprised and saddened by the lack of miniature golf software for the Mac...or computers in general. Heck, I even have two on my Apple IIGS (Gnarly Golf is still one of my all time favorite games). Sierra released 3D Ultra Mini Golf a couple years ago, and I actually called to find out if there would be a Mac version. Of course, there wasn't, but that was for the best. I've played the PC version, and it's pretty much as awful as every other Sierra product for either the PC or Mac since the original Gabriel Knight.

But then enters Squeegee Software's Crazy Golf Deluxe. This is their second attempt at this type of game, the first being the ill-fated Gopher Golf. It was a decent enough simulation, but it lacked the pizazz to make it worth playing any more than a couple times.

I've got good news, though. Computer technology has come a long way since then, and so has Squeegee Software. Goofy Golf Deluxe is not just a lot of un to play, but it's fun to play more than once.

Quite simply, the game pops. The colors and patterns are the elements of a horribly designed website, making them perfect for miniature golf. They give each hole personality, which is the mark of a good, real-life course. And complementing these vibrant designs are the putters themselves. Despite allowing four players, there are only two character types that appear on screen; one male, one female. However, they're animated in a claymation style that fits perfectly with the attitude of the game. Picture Wallace and Gromit in Myrtle Beach and you get the idea.

The songs that accompany the games are written in a 50s style, if the 50s had had cheesy midi capabilities. They add a nice touch, although I was certain at first that I'd quickly get sick of them. However, I found that they quickly got lost in the background. It would've been cool here if Squeegee provided us with the ability to listen to our own CDs or MP3s while playing the game. A little Shonen Knife or They Might Be Giants while playing Pebbly Beach? Perfect.

Putting the ball is extremely easy. You simply use the mouse to position your character, then click to swing the club. The longer you hold the button, the stronger the putt. You can also select to have an arrow point away from your club to help you aim. However, all reality ends once you've hit the ball. It's too bad no one is ever able to apply the laws of physics to miniature golf simulations. The ball always seems to go further than it should, and it's simply too easy to hit it perfectly straight. Goofy Golf Deluxe compensates for this with a wide variety of obstacles such as pinball bumpers, cannons and fire breathing dragons...along with the more traditional windmills, rocks and water hazards. But no loop-di-loop? Whoever heard of a miniature golf course with no loop-di-loop?

Goofy Golf Deluxe ships with three courses for a total of fifty-four holes. But the fun doesn't end there. Squeegee Software also included a course designer so that you can make your own holes! It's putt-putt paradise, right? Well, not exactly. Although you have got many elements from which to chose and placement is as simple as dragging the elements off the palate and setting them on the course, the implementation can get quite annoying. The pieces never seem to fit together the way I'd like, and moving objects behind others gets confusing...and sometimes it just doesn't work at all. The instructions that come with the game tell you what each elements does, but they don't suggest the best way to use them. A lot of trial and error is needed to set up a course, and it most likely won't end up as grand as you'd originally hoped.

But grand or not, people are successfully designing courses and posting them at Squeegee's website. The benefit here is obvious...after you master the three courses that ship with the game, there are many others waiting to be downloaded. So even if you never once open the course editor, you'll still be certain to capitalize on it.

Just like the real thing, Goofy Golf Deluxe is enjoyable by just about everyone. In all my years of gaming, I've never before been able to load up a game and have a group as diverse as my mother, my fiancee and my niece all play with me. And what's more, they all enjoyed it. I wouldn't even think of trying to pull that off with Myth II or X-Wing. Goofy Golf Deluxe will not revolutionize the gaming industry, but it may revitalize family gaming. And who knows...maybe sometime soon, we'll get net play. Then we'll be able to play others from all over the world.

I'll take you on. Winner buys lunch at Taco Bell.

.

December 02, 2008