Review: Deer Hunter

By: Kirk Hiner

I just don't get it.

There are actually many things I don't get. The popularity of the Spice Girls, for instance. Or the insistence by every English professor I've ever had that William Faulkner was a good writer. In such cases, I usually resign myself to ignorance of the topic and just move on to something I do understand...such as computer games.

But I don't get "Deer Hunter."

In the overpopulated world of PC games, "Deer Hunter" was huge. If you've been to computer store in the last few months, then you've most likely seen the "safety vest" orange of the "Deer Hunter" box with it's targeted buck and oddly comic "Rewards injuring non-threatening creatures" RSAC advisory on the cover. I was intrigued by its popularity, so I got a copy. Now that I've played it for a couple weeks...well...

Here's what you do. First, name your hunter. Of course, it's only appropriate to name him Ted Nugent. The game is much more fun if you pretend to be everybody's favorite member of the NRA and third favorite member of the now defunct Damn Yankees. Next, choose your weapon. Sadly, your only choices are a shotgun, rifle and compound bow; no shirukens or molitov cocktails here. You can also decide if you want to be on the ground or in a tree stand, and whether or not you want to use attractant and/or cover scents. You know, just in case you want the deer to stand absolutely no chance at all.

After you decide not to practice at the target range (because, come on, you're a hunter! A gatherer! A warrior! You don't need no stinking practice!), your final choice is location. You can choose from the Indiana winter, Arkansas autumn woodland or Colorado alpine meadows. Then you hunt.

You're first presented with an overhead map, upon which you click and click and click until your hunter finds some indication of deer activity. After searching the area a little more, it's pretty easy to pinpoint where the heavy deer traffic is, so you hunt.

And that's when then the game gets boring. Hunting in this game consists of spinning in circles, ocassionally using your deer call or rattle to get the "family Cervidae's" attention. You can also use the binoculars if you're so inclined, but they're pretty much useless. I found that you could see the deer with or without them in every instance. After some unasked for and useless suggestions from your computer hunting pal (helpful advice such as "I'm getting cold" or "Nothing yet"), a deer can eventually be spotted walking towards you. After some time, it gets close and turns for a few seconds...offering you a clear shot at the "kill zone." I suggest you wait until the deer turns and walks away again, because it's much more fun to shoot them in the butt.

That, my hunting friends, is the game. The whole game. After shooting a deer, you get to see its head hanging in your trophy room. Then you start all over.

So would someone please tell me why this game was so popular? I mean, it's not that it's bad, but that it's so sparse. At $19.99, it's priced at the level of most shareware. But I've played many shareware games that have had three or four times the depth of "Deer Hunter." Why are there only three areas in which to hunt? Why does only one deer show up at a time (at least in my hunting trips)? Why didn't the designers take into account the preparation of the hunt?

Of course, I've never been hunting, so I can't really speak of "Deer Hunters'" accuracy. I did describe the game to my brother-in-law, who has tried numerous times to kill himself a deer in the woods behind my parents' house, and his response was, "If it's boring, it's probably pretty accurate."

So maybe that's the point. Maybe some people want to sit in front of their computer all day and just...stare. The graphics are engaging, and the nature sounds are relaxing, but I don't play computer games to relax.

So I'm putting "Deer Hunter" away with all those William Faulkner novels I haven't looked at since college. Had I become an English professor, I might've grown to like Faulkner between semesters when I couldn't teach. Had I become a hunter, I might've grown to like "Deer Hunter" between seasons when I couldn't hunt. But...nope. I'll instead just bide my time until Mark Leyner writes another book or until MacSoft releases "Unreal."

Now those, I understand.

Oh, and a special note. Credit the creators of "Deer Hunter;" not only is the game endorsed by Wildlife Forever, but a portion of the proceeds from "Deer Hunter" go to this organization "to help preserve conservation efforts in North America."

Genre: Simulation

Platform: MacOS

Format: CD ROM

Developer: Sunstorm Interactive

Publisher: MacSoft

Requirements: PowerPC (80MHz or faster recommended), 16MB RAM, MacOS 7.1 or later, color monitor, CD ROM.

Network feature: No

Retail price: $19.98

Availability: Out now

Raised on Intellivision and "Tron," Kirk Hiner has been an avid gamer ever since he was tall enough to look through the viewfinder on the Battlezone upright. Although he makes a living using a PC (not by choice) to design websites for Dynamics Online, Inc., Kirk never strays from his 9600/200 or 3400c for computer gaming. When he's not playing the latest Logicware release, he can either be found working on his next "never to be published" novel, rereading anything by Kurt Vonnegut or watching RAW is WAR.

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December 02, 2008