[Mac Spirit] More notes from the retail vanguard: Does Steve Jobs hate us Mac evangelists?

by Rodney O. Lain

3/1/Y2K

Don't blame it on Steve, Rodney. You're just tired of being an unsung hero.

 

You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise you have regarded with such evil forebodings.

Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

 

Even though the board of directors collectively shudders every time we say it, this is National Public Radio.

from NPR's "Car Talk"

 

(SOMEWHERE IN MINNESOTA) -- Where is my motivation?

I wonder this while driving north on I-35E last Sunday, on my way to start another day at CompUSA.

It's not that I hate the job -- I'm the weekend "Mac guy" -- I get to play with Macs all day, for crissakes! (What true-Bondi-blue Mac head would pass up that opp?) It's not that I need the money. It's merely a matter of -- oh I don't know -- am I doing this for the right reasons? Why do I persist in such a thankless job? I'm not getting the big sales commissions for selling iMacs. I don't receive the stock options or any other financial incentives. I'm just a small cog in the wheel -- hell, who am I kidding? I'm not even that important.

But one can dream, right?

Anyway, today wasn't that different than any other day. I got to play with the new Mac toys. I got to regale customers with that beatific tactile experience known as iMac. I didn't get to see the iBook Special Edition, dammit, even though we have 13 of them in stock. The new G4s were MIA. Ditto for the AirPort base stations, even though we have more AirPort cards than you could shake a stick at.

Wanna-be evangelists, listen up!

While I remain at CompUSA, though, I guess I should keep the faith and pass along the things that I've learned and observed...

For example, many think that Apple is doing nothing to inform retail employees about Macintosh products. Actually, several tools have long been in the sales channel to help us foot soldiers advance The Cause.

A good example is the set of CD-ROMs sent to all stores on a regular basis, namely the Apple Sales and Marketing Resource Library collection. Not even mentioning the free software that is often included (I received Not-For-Resale copies of OS 9 and AppleShare IP 6.3), there is more than enough info to arm the clueless sales person and the Mac fiend in our midst. And there are other CD-ROM valuables, too:

CD version of the Macintosh Product Guide: there are over 17,000 software and hardware products for the Macintosh. Can you name all of them? Now you can, with this.

Power Up Your Macintosh Sales: included on this CD-set are PowerPoint presentations of every Apple product, such as Mac OS X Server, as well as PDF info sheets.

The reason I mention this is because these particular items have proven to be great boons to my sales and have proven to be most-welcomed founts of information for the average customer.

Today, for example, I have installed the Spec Database, a FileMaker Pro document that has spec data on every Macintosh ever produced. Have a Performa 6116CD and don't remember the maximum amount of RAM you can load into it? Just look it up and you will see that it will take 72 MB. You will also find out that you have only two RAM slots and all RAM must be installed in pairs of two.

You see, there is no excuse for employees' not being able to help Mac customers. Even if you don't have the CD MPG, every CompUSA should have at least two or so computers with internet connections (ours does), where one can connect to the on-line version of the Macintosh Product Guide. So if you have a customer complaining that there is no Home Design software for the Mac, you can go and find names of the dozens of titles that exist -- they're just not on your local store shelves.

Walking, talking billboards for the Mac

And then there are so many interesting things that you can learn from customers.

Like the lady who tells me that CompUSA is the greatest advertiser for MacWarehouse that she's ever seen:

"Whenever I want to buy something from one of the mail-order catalogs," she told me. "I go and make sure that CompUSA doesn't have it (they usually don't), and then I go and buy it on-line -- with next-day delivery most of the time."

Not necessarily a scathing indictment of CompUSA, but more of a picture-worth-a-thousands-words commentary on how far Mac-centric retailing has to go vis-á-vis the brick-and-mortar storefront.

Then, there's the lady who came in to techno-lust after the G4.

"I read your stuff," she says.

Oh, God. I quickly tried to figure out which of my columns had possibly offended her.

"No, I like what you write. It's good to see another 'brown person' out there. Not too many of 'us' are known to use Macs."

Well, there are more of us than you'd realize, I counter.

She gets the point. We talk for a while. I show here my latest fave video that I've installed onto the demo G4: it's the "Wassup" Superfriends video and the "X-Men" movie trailer.

"You show that video to every customer that comes by," another sales guy says, shaking his head at me.

"Wass-uuupppppppppp!" I shout at him, and he leaves me alone.

One of my other co-workers comes by and ask me what's going on, saying that I look depressed. I tell him that I'm getting tired of fighting the good fight; I'm starting to regret not having my weekends to myself.

I mention a novel that I've been working on for three years and haven't gotten past chapter five. I mention the bikes we got for Xmas and plan to ride through the parks and across the countryside. He doesn't hang around too long. I guess I can really pee on the proverbial blanket when I try hard enough.

I vow never to discuss this with anyone anymore. Last time I thought about quitting, I was talked out of it; come to think of it, it was the guy I had just talked to. Next time, if I decide to quit, I will just go and do it and not discuss it with anyone.

This CompUSA gig is not even an ego trip. Maybe it should be, because the Lord knows there certainly isn't any glory in this. Besides, it isn't like Steve Jobs actually enjoys having us Mac addicts representing the Macintosh Way to customers. If anything, he probably wishes people like me would dry up and die. I'm sure I'm too zealous for the New Apple -- and the time for zealotry is over, if I understand Apple's new direction.

No longer is Macintosh the computer for the rest of us. Apple's now marketing it as the computer for all us, "Think Different" notwithstanding. And most of "all of us" aren't fanatical about a computer, no matter how cool and how empowering it may be perceived.

Maybe that's why I'm pondering hanging up my hat... again. I start to wonder if Apple no longer needs evangelists, but rather, cut-throat salespeople who can push ever more and more Macs out the stores.

Please, don't write me and tell me to keep evangelizing or to stop doing it. This is a soliloquoy. I prefer to think out loud and work this one through alone.

Maybe it's the death of Don Crabb that's caused me to be so introspective. He wasn't necessarily an über-Mac evangelist like us whippersnappers, but he did fight the good fight for more years that I probably will.

To what effect? Were his contributions even given notice outside of the Mac press? Did the Mothership even publish a "thank you, Don?" Would Apple publish a similar statement if I died tonight?

"In loving memory of Rodney O. Lain, who has done as much to advance The Cause -- for a pittance -- as any paid member of our staff. We will revere his memory."

Maybe this is just a bout of self-doubt experienced by anyone who's defended the OS for any period of time. My love of the platform hasn't waned. It's just that I am becoming increasingly aware that the Mac platform is maturing into less of a fringe movement and more of a lifestyle. Lifestyles should be things of moderation.

It's time I started practicing moderation in relation to all things Macintosh and spend more time at home with my Mac turned off. I'm not talking about hanging up my Apple placard. I'm just setting it down for a while. Holding it continuously has turned out to be more of a strain than I realized.

The Mac Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Maybe it's time for Apple's PR and marketing and sales people to earn their paychecks and push the plow for a while; Apple has received enough free man hours from Yours Truly as it is.

Fini.

This column is © 2000 Rodney O. Lain. All rights reserved.

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About Rodney O. Lain

A former journalist and college prof, Rodney lives in Minnesota, where he freelance writes part-time and works full-time as a supervisor at a major internet-related company. He has a soft spot for H. L. Mencken, Steve Jobs, Prince, Richard Wright and other well-known status-quo breakers.

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November 22, 2008