Note: * I wanted this headline to say “sorry-assed
Mac retailers,” but I knew I wouldn’t get that past my editor,
much less you weenies in our midst.
Will Smith don't have to cuss
in his rap to sell records.
But I do, so fuck him, and fuck you, too.
You think I give a damn about
a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't stomach me, let alone stand me.
Eminem, "The Real Slim
Shady"
By now, everyone knows that I am an ardent fan
of anyone who isn’t afraid to say what’s on his mind. Steve
Jobs has always been one of those people. He merely endeared himself
to me even more in light of today's news accounts of his reportedly
excessive use of the “F” word to a group of computer retailers
last week at Macworld San Francisco.
According to news accounts at Maccentral and
Wired (see links at end of this editorial), Mr. Jobs vented his well-deserved
frustration publicly when addressing a group of independent, small Mac
vendors (he had only compliments for them, BTW). I won’t rehash
what he said, though; I direct you to the links again, but not because
I’m afraid of repeating his language. I agree totally with what
he said and how he said it (there goes his credibility :-). I feel that
what he did was allow us the vicarious opportunity to tell the big computer
retailers what we think about them.
Too many times have Mac users gone into stores and had to put up with
some fat ass at CompUSA who only cares about selling us an extended-service
plan (and that’s all they care about; I should know, since I used
to work there. Emphasis on word “used.” I have nothing to
lose now, so I’m telling all).
It’s a good thing they care about selling that service plan, since
that’s the only thing they probably know about. You think they
don’t know about Macs? Hell, they probably don’t know about
PCs! That’s the state of retail manpower. Computer retailers can’t
afford those of us who know one whit about computers.
Me, I work there because it’s the only way I can justify to my
wife the “need” to buy a new Mac every year. But, it’s
hard to stay at times, since you have to put up with the inanity of
the whole retail business.
Sidepoint: I should speak in the past tense, since I now work at Micro
Center on the weekends, instead of CompUSA. Now, Micro Center has a
clue about computer retailing. If you ever get the chance, shop there.
You’ll agree with me when I say that they give a damn about Mac
users.
Mac users always get the short shrift at the super stores. We always
have to put up with salespeople who show no respect for us as they try
to convince us that we need to put down that Mac and go buy a “real
computer.” If CompUSA gained an ounce of professionalism and the
company’s employees’ increased their computer knowledge every
time a customer was turned off by their sheer arrogance and utter cluelessness,
the company would have the highest stock price on Wall Street (it’s
been under $10 forever), and the sales staff would be a pantheon of
tech gods in their own right.
But, I know I speak to the proverbial wind. The big stores make money.
So they believe that nothing’s broke. They may laugh at Steve Jobs
for his potty mouth, but they ignore his critique at their peril. It's
a sign of the times that I personally dread to shop for computers in
the “superstores.” The sales people could at least stop salivating
when they’re talking to me, the bastards.
Alas and alack, Apple has every reason to open its own stores. If the
company is going to waste money on retail, at least it’ll be Apple’s
retails stores money's being wasted on; but Apple would excercise greater
and direct control over how product is presented to the public.
As for the "super store" retail execs who will probably complain
about the prospect of selling Apple products in direct competition with
Apple retails stores, I believe we all echo Mr. Jobs' implied retort:
"fuck you. If you'd been at least minimally promoting the Mac,
then Apple wouldn't have to take matters into its own hands."
Fini.
(Columnist's update: After reading this
column, a reader pointed out that Steve's comments were made at a meeting
attended by small, independent Apple Specialists. The "big boys"
-- CompUSA, Circuit City, etc. -- were not in attendance. There were
not there, but I'm very sure that word traveled back to them -- fast.
It's about damned time Steve addressed the pathetic state of Mac retail.)
A former journalist and college
prof, Rodney lives in Minnesota, where he freelance writes on the side
and works during the day as a junior manager for a top Fortune 500 company
(daily he bemoans the fact that he was assigned a Gateway laptop by
the IT guys). He has a soft spot for H. L. Mencken, Steve Jobs, Prince,
Richard Wright and other well-known status-quo breakers.
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