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I guess Apple should take it as a compliment that any device remotely related to the iPod is apparently being designed to "kill" it. Remember all those old "iMac killers" that were announced soon after the original iMac? Yeah, neither do I. Anyway...

From a Reuters article this morning:

The first handheld gadgets to play music and movies on Microsoft Corp.'s "iPod killer" software will be available in Europe in the second half of 2004, the world's largest software company said on Thursday.

The gadgets will run on Microsoft's yet-to-be-unveiled Portable Media Center software in a direct assault on iPod, Apple Computer Inc.'s hot-selling digital music player.

I guess I can see why Microsoft has their panties in a bunch over the iPod, seeing that Windows users are now using and enjoying (Apple's) iTunes in conjunction with their (Apple) iPods. They're also probably not too happy about the whole HP licensing deal. That Microsoft would eventually release such a device was inevitable even if Apple hadn't already cornered the market. They just wanted to wait until they were sure there was millions of dollars to be made there.

Now, the details on the device are kind of funny. Two companies will be making the device for distribution in the European market: Creative Technologies, Ltd. and iRiver International. Creative intends to have their device out in Sweden, the United Kingdom and Denmark first, with Germany, France, Italy and Spain to follow by year-end. There is no word on U.S. distribution. iRiver has no word on anything at this time.

The iPod murdering side of this device would have to be the fact that, aside from music, it'll also be able to play movies and display photos. Yeah, this makes perfect sense, as we all love to watch movies while out for a jog or look at family photos while busy at work.

Here, however, is where the real comedy kicks in:

The Creative players will be sold with 20 gigabytes or 40 gigabytes of storage capacity, the latter would provide 175 hours of video playback or 10,000 songs, Microsoft said.

The devices play MP3 files as well as audio and video content recorded in Microsoft's digital format. The devices run on the Windows CE operating system.

The Creative player weighs in at 330 grams (11.5 ounces) — roughly three times as thick as an iPod and roughly twice as long to accommodate its television-quality color screen. It has a USB port and comes with audio and video outputs cable to play media on a television or stereo hi-fi.

Okay, first of all, we'll hope that's a misprint and that they mean USB 2.0 port. Otherwise, have a good time transferring that 40GB movie. Second, is it just me, or does plugging a portable device into a television to watch video defeat the whole purpose of said device? And third, does Microsoft simply not understand that big doesn't sell? The iPod mini has been selling like crazy despite offering only a little more than 1/4 of the capacity of the smallest iPod and costing only $50 less. Why? Because it's small and cute. It's an accessory, like cell phones have become. So, who will buy this thing? Microsoft answers that themselves:

Microsoft's [James Bernard, product manager for Portable Media Center] envisaged a scenario where the owner of a Portable Media Center gadget would be able to store hours of their favorite music and movies on the device. They could then download from a news-oriented Web site a round-up of the day's news to watch on the train.

To that end, Microsoft is busy assembling media partners to provide content including movies, music videos and news. It has signed up music label EMI and digital music outfit Napster.

Okay, that, I can see; a bunch of business people on the commuter trains watching the golf highlights they missed while at the office. What scares me is the thought that entertainment outlets are going to start creating content specifically for such devices, which are also being developed by Archos, Inc. and Dell. News, TV shows, and everything else will be condensed into music video length snippets for easy downloading onto portable media devices. iPod killer? How about attention span killer? How about detail or "in-depth" killer?

Not that any of this is expected to happen anytime soon.

"I don't think these devices will be changing the consumer electronics landscape in any way this year. By definition, they just don't have widespread appeal," said Mark Mulligan, an analyst with Jupiter Research in London.

And by the time that appeal is there, it's safe to say that Apple will once again have shoved the industry in an entirely different direction...no doubt giving Microsoft something else to kill.

Oh, and I didn't forget about the price, as that's the final punchline. Microsoft expects the device to retail for between 550 euros and 599 euros ($678.50-$738.90) for the 20GB model and between 399 pounds and 449 pounds ($724-$814.70) for the 40GB.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I'm here all week.

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