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Genre: First-Person Shooter

Format: DVD

Developer: Luxoflux, Inc.

Original Publisher: Activision

Mac Port: Trihedron LLC

Mac Publisher: Aspyr Media

Minimum System Requirements: Mac OS X v10.2.8, 867MHz G4, 256MB RAM, 2GB free disk space, 32MB video card (ATI Radeon 8500 or Nvidia GeForce2 MX), DVD drive

Review Computer: Whatever we could find that would actually run it

Network Feature: LAN and Internet play (Mac to Mac only, GameRanger supported)

Price: $49.99

ESRB Rating: Teen (blood, mild language and violence)

Availability: Now

Official Website: www.truecrimela.com

For a long time, I didn't think this game was reviewable. I didn't think it was reviewable because I didn't think it was playable. In the history of Applelinks game reviews, we've never had such a hard time getting a game to play on our systems. It started with terrible performance because those minimum requirements above are pretty much blind optimism. We then moved on to bugs that not only prevented the game from being played, but prevented us from even selecting our game options. Finally, we ended on a system where the bugs were only exceptionally annoying, not game killing.

When Pat Miller first went to review this game for us, the performance on his 1GHz Powerbook G4 12" was so bad that he felt he couldn't give it a fair review. So, I took it back and installed it on my Dual 2.5GHz G5. Here's where the really bad bug came into play; the spinning. Maybe it's an L.A. thing, as I recall Sarah Jessica Parker's character in L.A. Story really loved to spin. In the options menus, the game would automatically spin through my selections, making it extremely difficult to actually select anything. Once I got the timing down to where I could select the option I wanted, I worked my way into the game. It started with a cut scene that had its own share of graphics anomalies (odd areas of white, which appeared on all testing system, by the way), and I'm pretty sure featured Christopher Walken as the narrator and the voice of the guy who hands out weapons to rogue cops with a chip on their shoulder. What strange career choices that Christopher makes.

Anyway, I followed the advice from Aspyr's support, meaning I repaired disk permissions, reinstalled the game exactly where they wanted me to, then dumbed down all the visual options to make it look as much like a Commodore 64 game as possible. This fixed the spinning issue in the options menus, but not in the game itself. The moment I took control of Nick Kang, protagonist, the camera would immediately start spinning around him. That's it. I couldn't get Nick to move, I couldn't get him to draw his weapons, I could only watch as the camera lovingly circled him...and circled him...and circled him. Oddly, I think that was more fun than the game itself.

When we finally found a system that would play True Crime: Streets of L.A., the experience was about as enjoyable reading an issue of True Crime magazine. Once you manage to get past the cover photo of the woman in her underwear tied to the bathroom pipes beneath the headline, "I ate his brains...it was very nice," you find that the contents are worthless. Tell me if you've heard this one before:

Merciless gangs have taken over the streets of Los Angeles. The city is in the middle of a vicious crime wave. The only hope to restore order is an out-of-control ex-cop whose unconventional methods leave him rejected by the police and feared by criminals.

Honestly, people, that's pulled directly from Aspyr's website, not from Writing 101 on what to not make your movie about. This game is so clichéd and the characters and story so overdone that Aspyr did the respectable thing and didn't even try to hide it. Have to give them some credit for that. Although, it does make one wonder...how would anyone know if we're in the middle of a vicious crime wave? Do we have any way of knowing where the middle was until the crime wave actually ends, or do criminals now call the police or news stations to say, "Okay, we're half way there. We'll be cuttin' this &@*! out in a couple months or so. West siiiiyyyeeeeeeeed!"

There's no point in discussing the plot further, because you know the plot. You've seen it a few dozen times, a few version of which probably did feature Christopher Walken. So, let's talk about game play. True Crime: Streets of L.A. is the poor man's Grand Theft Auto. As Nick Kang, renegade police officer assigned to the Elite Operations Division of the L.A.P.D. (because I guess that's what the L.A.P.D. does with violent, disturbed, angry young men...gives them promotions to divisions that apparently don't have to follow standard police guidelines), your job is basically to beat people up and kill a few. These can be criminals or they can be civilians. That's up to you and the methods you choose to take to find out who killed your dad, also a police officer. To do this, you'll engage in fisticuffs, chases (on car and foot) and gunfights.

The action in True Crime is easily the game's selling point. I can't deny the fun of chasing around criminals in cars I...well, Nick has a badge, and it can be quite fun to abuse that privilege. Wreck a car or simply want an upgrade? No problem. You can either commandeer or outright steal pretty much any car in the game. All of the cars behave differently, and all are a real pain to drive, unfortunately. The steering seems overly sensitive, and it's already awkward enough controlling them with the mouse and keyboard. Because that method is best for other aspects of the game, though, it doesn't make sense to keep swapping controls as you switch from gunfights to car chases.

As you go through the main missions of the game, the police radio will alert you to crimes being committed throughout the 240 square miles of accurately recreated Los Angeles. At least, I think it's accurately recreated. I've never actually been there, so I'll have to trust the advertising. Anyway, you don't have to answer these calls. In fact, you can't possibly answer them all. Instead, they seem to mainly serve as a break from the main action, to increase replay value and to make yourself feel a little better about your lot in life. Nick Kang: Crime Fighter! See, now doesn't that sound more pleasant than True Crime: Streets of L.A. It's your choice, really. Who you fight and how you fight them will affect your character's development and the outcome of the game.

Unfortunately, the ending of the game doesn't come quickly enough. The story didn't work for me, mainly because I hated Nick Kang. He's not a likable guy, and it's hard to have sympathy for a guy who's not likable. His incessant use of dorky one-liners grated on my nerves, and he has a terrible taste in music, apparently. Well, that's subjective and irrelevant to the review rating, so I take that back. I didn't like the music offered in the game, but I suppose most people in the target audience won't care. I will argue, however, that games are better serviced by soundtracks that add more to the experience than just a celebrity name to put on the box. So you've got Snoop Dogg. Big deal. Who doesn't these days? They guy's making movies about talking zebras, for cryin' out loud. I have a feeling it wouldn't take much to get Snoop Dogg to sing at the Applelinks Christmas party, if we had one.

Now, am I panning True Crime: Streets of L.A. because of the frustration that stemmed from our inability to get the game running? No. That'd be too easy. Unfortunately, I'm panning the game because it's just not any good. It's clichéd and it's tired, and it puts attitude over style. It looks good, but who cares about that anymore? All games requiring an 867Mhz G4 or higher look good. As we learned recently from DOOM 3, looking good is no longer enough.

If you haven't purchased this game, don't. If you have and you can't get it to run, believe me; the waste of the $49.99 is far better than the waste of time required to get it to run, and then—God forbid—to play it. Just as Nick Kang is rejected by the police and feared by criminals, so should this game be rejected by consumers and feared by retailers.

I like that Christopher Walken, though. Maybe they should make a game about The Continental.