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5 October 2006
Our very astute readers often have lots of nagging questions about the computer industry, especially with respect to Apple and Microsoft. But, amazingly, there is no one to answer those tough questions. So here are the most common questions I'm asked and some no-nonsense answers.
Q: Why is the Xeon-based Mac Pro not a whole lot faster than the Dual Core PowerMac G5?
A: IBM makes terrific CPUs and supercomputers. Duh.
Q: Why did Apple reduce the size of the packaging for the latest iPods?
A: So Microsoft employees could smuggle them into the office more easily.
Q: Why is Microsoft so excited about their Zune?
A: Because their Zune is bigger than Apple's ... iPod. Size counts.
Q: Why is Microsoft planning to crack down so hard on Vista piracy?
A: Because software pirates in China are charging customers on the street what Windows is worth.
Q: Why is Apple getting into bed with Google?
A: To make beautiful babies.
Q: Why will Leopard (10.5) ship nearly two years after Tiger (10.4) shipped?
A: Job #10.0: Ship. Job #10.1: Ship the real 1.0 version. Job #10.2: Make it usable. Job #10.3: Add cool stuff. Job #10.4: Set the bar for Microsoft. Job #10.5: Go back and fix all the fundamental things that were set aside before. Now that takes time.
Q: Why, given that Mac OS X is a sophisticated OS, based on FreeBSD, with a Mach kernel, on the way to being 100% POSIX compliant, and sporting an X11 windows system is the Finder so incredibly simple minded?
A: You lost me at FreeBSD.
Q: Why is Apple trying to discourage the use of the term "pod"?
A: Companies with no imagination like to ride on the coattails of those who do. Besides, Apple's attorneys need something else to do now that their adventure with the Constitution's First Amendment is over.
Q: Why does Apple want to be in your living room?
A: They're already in bed with Google.
Q: Why, in fact, does Microsoft want to ship a Music player?
A: Why do schoolyard bullies want to steal your baseball cap?
Q: Why did Microsoft select brown as a Zune color?
A: So your dog will confuse it with a treat and eat it. Then you'll have to buy a new one. See?
Q: Why are there no connectors on the back of the Apple code-named "iTV" for a Standard Definition TV, only for High Definition TV, when Apple is currently selling movies with less than DVD quality?
A: Because the number of people who will buy a Standard Definition (SD) TV in 2007 will be about the same as the number who buy a brown Zune.
Q: Why does Apple want to sell me an iPod and an iPhone?
A: Because the number of people on the planet who truly understand a Unix operating system is now numbered barely in the thousands. Excuse me ... my cell is ringing.
Q: Why doesn't Apple like to do Macworld New York anymore?
A: Because Apple is a very wealthy company. And you don't get wealthy by spending money now do you?
Q: Then why is Apple spending hundreds of millions for a new campus?
A: Steve's building a legacy, not buildings.
Q: Lots of software these days phones home with an outbound connection that is not blocked by Mac OS X's firewall. Why doesn't Mac OS X alert us to this?
A: Because if you're not smart enough to use Little Snitch, you're too dumb to worry about these things.
Q: Should I buy movies from the iTunes store? After all, they're only 640 x 480, not in widescreen format and barely DVD quality.
A: How badly do you want to compete with your friends?
Q: What's the Next Big Thing?
A: Video conferencing with iSight on top of your HDTV.
Q: What should I get my wife for Christmas?
A: Either a pink 2G iPod nano or a new vacuum cleaner. Your choice.
Q: Will there be a 4-inch screen, "true" video iPod out for Christmas?
A: No.
Q: Why?
A: That's ammunition, in reserve, to crush the Zune into oblivion.
Q: Which format will win? HD-DVD or Blu-Ray?
A: If Sony Pictures agrees to sell movies via the iTunes store, then Macs will have a Blu-Ray drive option. And Blu-Ray wins. If not, HD-DVD.
Q: Why did Wal-Mart get so tough with Apple about movie sales, then back off?
A: Someone at Wal-Mart forgot they make big bucks selling iPods.
Q: Where should I send my questions?
This is Warp Core column #79. The Warp Core archives are here:
Year 2006* Your humble author also writes a column for TMO.
John Martellaro is a senior scientist and author. A former U.S. Air Force officer, he has worked for NASA, White Sands Missile Range, Lockheed Martin Astronautics, the Oak Ridge National Laboratory and Apple Computer. During his five years at Apple, he worked as a Senior Marketing Manager for science and technology, Federal Account Executive, and High Performance Computing Manager. His interests include alpine skiing, SciFi, astronomy, and Perl. John lives in Colorado. He can be contacted via his Website or the Applelinks Contact link.
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