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Genre: Sim/Strategy (God Game)

Format: DVD

Developer: Firaxis

Mac Publisher: Aspyr Media

Minimum System Requirements: Mac OS X v10.3.9, 1.8GHz G5 or Intel chipset, 512MB RAM, 3.5GB free disk space, ATI Radeon 9000 or NVidia GeForce FX5200 with 64MB VRAM, DVD drive, broadband connection for Internet play

Review Computer: 1.5GHz 17" PowerBook, 512MB RAM, ATI Mobility Radeon 9700 (AGP 4X) graphics processor with 64MB of DDR SDRAM

Network Feature: Internet (TCP/IP) and LAN (TCP/IP) play supported

Processor Compatibility: Universal

Price: $49.99

ESRB Rating: E

Availability: Now

Official Website: www.civiv.com

Dear Sid:

This has to stop.

I have to end this hurtful, obsessive relationship. I don't hear from you for years and then you show up with a new Civilization game and I'm just supposed to fall back into your arms?

And like a fool, I do. I hate myself for the way I let myself get swallowed by your massive God games. The way you make me take a small tribe and build them over the centuries into a massive, dominating nation. The way I carefully prioritize the scientific research while keeping the populace happy and growing, building more and more cities until everything, everything is consumed.

Then there's the violence. Sid, I never thought you'd go as far as you did, introducing an experience point system, and forcing me to choose the ways in which my armies become more powerful. Will they be better at plundering cities or healing other units? Defending against artillery or punching through city walls, laying on siege after siege before finally penetrating into enemy territory and making it my own? I thought I could trust you when you enabled a system that would let me know what my chances of success in a fight were, giving me not only a percentage, but also explaining what the bonuses and penalties came from. But this only causes me to get into more fights because I know what my chances are.

Sure it's all more sophisticated: the computer-controlled players aren't all out to get me right from the get-go, and again, like with any mature relationship, they spell out right away what they do and don't like about me. But why must it be all about keeping score? You know what I mean, Sid; right there on the right side of the screen, a little chart measuring the relative strength of the civilizations, along with our trade status, and dominate religion.

Yes, religion. You had to bring religion into it, didn't you, with your multi-faceted design? True, you've set it up so that no one religion is different from another, but still, we're free to establish state religions, build temples and monasteries, and even send out proselytizers to spread our views to the other civs in order to foster better relations. But what if I don't want a more complex worldview, Sid? Did you think about me?

No. You're never satisfied. Never willing to leave things just as they are. Don't deny it! It shows in everything—the Science Research tree that gets more and more detailed, and don't think I missed your little digs at me! "Liberalism: leads to Communism." Ha! You thought you could make it up to me by expanding and detailing each discovery, eliminating some of the obvious dead-ends that came up in Civ III, but I see what you're trying to do—steal every moment of my time for yourself.

But no matter how much I give you, you just demand more and more of my resources. Let's start with the game's system requirements; 2GHz!? You know I don't have that. Sure, I was able to get the game running on my Powerbook, but it's almost two years old and the game ran incredibly, frustratingly slow. I know, I know I'm no longer the cutting edge gamer with the top-of-the-line machine I once was, but do you have to point it out, turn after turn? If you want me to get an upgrade, be man enough to say so! I've seen you looking at the those Intel tramps in the Apple Store window...

Oh Sid, I can see it's over between us, why can't you? Why must you insist on dragging out this masochistic relationship? I know things haven't really changed between us: Civ IV is a wonderful continuation and refinement of the greatest computer game ever created, but even with all the new eye candy—3D environments, more challenging AI, a greater level of interaction with every level of the world—it can't go on!

You drag me into your depths and keep me tied to you turn after turn, city after city, game after game day after day. I'm free of you! I'm finally free of you and your accursed game that's taken up the best years of my life! Free, do you hear!? Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm leaving. Right. After. This. Next. Turn.

Bill's been using Macs since the late 80s. When he's not making smartass remarks to amuse Kirk Hiner, he enjoys fighting for the user.