May 28, 2001

(Written & posted on Sunday, not Memorial Day)

THE NEW FRIGIDAIRES
Yes, I know, I've made that comparison before. In some respects, writing about Macs is like writing about refrigerators, or rather, one particular brand of refrigerator. Computers evolve more rapidly and change more radically than refrigerators, of course, but the point still stands. And don't try to tell me that Macs are more important than refrigerators, either. If your computer and your refrigerator were both stolen, which would you replace first? That's a hard choice for single males, I know, but trust me: everybody else is down at Sears, pointing and saying "THAT one!"

Anyway, the latest thing in Macintosh hardware is of course the new iBooks. I'm writing this on an old iBook, and it still works pretty well. Would I be better off typing on a new one, hmm? Since merely writing about Macs doesn't automatically confer familiarity with the new models, someone should email me and tell me how the latest version is for resting one's wrists on, because one of the things I really like about the original iBook is how comfortable it is to use. The large, curved form factor both holds the machine easily on my lap and provides a nifty place to rest my hands in between inspirations. (I don't really know what "form factor" means, but GRACK! is nothing if not hip.)

But those new ones are cuties, all right. Heck, the performance increases alone are worth the price of admission. Does it too sit comfortably on your lap, I wonder? (Inquiring minds want to know.) This is minor, however, because what will drive me to the "who cares?" level will surely be the NEXT iBooks, incorporating as I believe they might a majorly-goosed version of Apple's AirPort technology with greater range and faster data transfer speeds. This will also cause much gnashing of teeth among the economy-minded, because as far as I know, your current AirPort cards and base stations will not support the new wireless standard. C'est la vie. You wanna fly, you have to buy new wings (aarghh)... [NEWS FLASH! Just after this was written, rumors of changes in Apple's wireless technology strategies appeared, courtesy of the usual suspects. In other words -- gulp -- don't believe a thing I just wrote. Geez.]

ALL QUIET ON THE APPLE (STORE) FRONT?
Well, last weekend was the Big One.* The grand openings of Apple retail stores in MacLean, VA and Glendale, CA were rousing successes. The U.K. wants Apple stores, too. Everyone wants Apple stores. What's not to like about Apple stores? Folks even bought maybe a million bucks worth of merchandise during the first week (I made that up: the figure for the weekend was 2/3 of a million, so...). There were even lines to get in! I can't remember when I ever stood in line to get into a place to spend money on anything but movies or rock & roll, but then I'm weird.

I'll bet the lines are gone now, though. I'll bet you can walk right in and put your hands on whatever you want. And there's a lot to grab: tons of third-party products, things you can actually use with your Macs, more Mac software in one place than you ever dreamed about, and all the current hardware offerings. Why, you can even grab a real-live "genius" and demand an answer. Not half bad.

But where's the NEW news about the Apple stores? They were newsworthy last week because they hadn't existed before, but now they do. How do we Mac writers top ourselves? (This is the "refrigerator factor," you see.)

IT'S THE OS X, STUPID
Steve Jobs understands these things. That's why we just had another session of the Worldwide Developers Conference and why Macworld New York will be coming up next. In the refrigerator business, you have to make news! And the big news this past week was, "Here comes OS X, ready or not!" (in several senses of the phrase).You buy a new Mac, you get OS X -- GOOD! Now we can finally be rid of all the "how to install it" stories and everyone will learn to use it. If I ever replace my lavishly-equipped PowerMac 8600, the new machine will have OS X, XI, XII or XX already in place, thank God.

[Official GRACK! Digression: You know, I think I just figured out why Apple is adding Arabic numerical suffixes to the initial Roman "X" to indicate updates...]

Meanwhile, all you Mac software developers have just been cattle-prodded. With surveys showing that OS X users overwhelmingly prefer OS X-native applications to whatever the other ones are (antique, classic, legacy, cocoa, chai, spearmint, retro, etc.), it obviously behooves you to get the lead out and generate some code, toot sweet. This also means that we're likely to encounter a slew of buggy first editions, as developers compete for attention and credit card numbers, but we all have to start somewhere.

I for one will be so damned happy when this is all over. I hope I live to see the day when it's possible once again to write about "software" without having to qualify every statement with programming jargon and pretend to know what I'm talking about. (I said this was a tough job and I meant it!)

WATCH WHAT WE DO, NOT WHAT WE SAY
Apple is still hedging its bets, however. Your new iBook will start up under OS 9.1 by default, so as not to freak anybody out. But OS X will be there, ready for the "huh?" and "gol-lee!" factors to kick in when you decide to give it a try. Pretty smart on the company's part, I'd say. I'd be concerned about the 64 MB of RAM on the low-end model, but if X runs like skink with that configuration, well hey, that would be news-and-a-half. [NEWS FLASH! Apparently it does...]

Remember to watch what I do, too. Despite all the ranting, I love my Macs.I love the new iBooks, conceptually at least. I'd REALLY love to make it to Macworld New York this year, especially considering Applelinks' plans, but it ain't gonna happen. (That's even harder than writing a daily essay on "Why I Love My iBook," week after week, month after month, year after year, without repeating myself.) But I DO buy and use Macs! That's a fact. That's reality. Everything else is venting, hot air with occasional real news and helpful hints thrown in. Today I told you that new AirPort cards and base stations are in the works. [But be sure to read the first NEWS FLASH item in the third paragraph, above.] I wonder what would be a good time and place for Apple to make that announcement. The 4th of July? My birthday??

Hey, this job isn't so tough after all. . . **

Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr says welcomes your comments, so long as they're lovingly crafted and full of praise. Otherwise, please visit the Applelinks MacBoards and let 'er rip.

*I have a personal anecdote to pass on to you concerning a friend's reaction to the QuickTime virtual tour of the new Apple store conducted by Steve Jobs.I haven't seen it, you understand -- who has time to wait for the download at 28kbps? -- but my friend, a very smart person living outside of Santa Fe and also saddled with a slow connection, claims he let his Mac sit there bringing in the bytes for "two and a half hours" while he did other things. He compared the tour to the film strips some of us were shown in grade school (ouch!). The red telephone "hot line" to Cupertino was what did him in, I think. But the most hilarious thing he noticed was how the store iBooks, intended to demonstrate the "freedom" of wireless Internet technology, were all tethered by short security cables... hoo and hah!

The Shortest Editorial in the World

Now friends, isn't it more than a little bit telling that nowhere on the Mac Web is there anyone viewing all this with a fresh, satirical eye and telling it like it is? (My buddy thought it was hilarious!)

**Oh, yes it is! Just see how the weekend rumors cut the legs out from under my attempt to tell you about AirPort changes. Bottom line: nobody who writes this stuff knows more than Steve Jobs.

AUDIO CREDIT: embedded 44k file, European Birds -- Sounds and Sonograms.