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Fred of Rights
As anyone who's been slapped in the face with a newspaper recently can't help but notice, there's a great deal of crowing and strutting going on these days. I've also detected considerable activity on the part of self-appointed guardians of what some mistake for the secular religion. Rather than bellow and rail, however, I think one should make allowance for the possibility that these good souls may have slept through American history or whichever class was meant to show how society's supposed to work.

That it isn't right now (working, that is) is, in my humble opinion, largely due to a lack of awareness of the true meaning of American greatness at the highest levels of government, but we're stuck with that for the time being. What goes on under our own roof is another matter, of course, so consider this an open call for one and all to visit the Applelinks Mac Boards (the Lounge in particular) and have some good clean fun. Remember, we're all in this together, or at least that's how I thought it was once upon a time, so be nice and may no one "win" at the expense of another (that's not how we reach the Promised Land).

By the way, I don't think anyone is a punk! It's just that it rhymes with "skunk" and I couldn't resist, so take it in good humor with the best intentions. Nevertheless, if so inclined, please flame me personally all you like. I long ago cleverly rerouted most of my email addresses through a Salon page so that anyone trying to reach me adds another notch to my hit counter, and I know all the flamers will enjoy FarrFeed anyway. As for the Lounge, the site can use the traffic, so have a blast. And remember that all the various Mac Board forums offer an astounding array of opportunities for sharing all kinds of technical, hardware, software, and gaming tips. Applelinks is the real deal, and don't you forget it!

Anything you say
So take a look at this, would you? Now I know exactly what kind of critter has been trying to take the tube feeder down from the wire and carry it off into the bushes every other night. The thing is, I just didn't figure skunks for sunflower seed eaters. Grosbeaks, sure -- the bloody birds are are like seed machine guns in reverse -- but skunks? What's the matter with the two restaurant dumpsters just a block away? And this one showed in broad daylight! As opposed to narrow daylight, which is what they enjoy in Finland in November, I guess.

But aren't skunks supposed to be omnivores? You know, grubs, snails, carrion, roots & berries, all that stuff? Okay, seeds are part of omni. But I still think it's mysterious, a skunk who thinks he's a bird. There's just a lot of things I don't know about in this world, like CEOs getting millions of dollars in bonuses while their companies go down the tubes. This happened at Delta Airlines and a bunch of other places recently. For that matter (and not that it's the same thing at all!), Apple's stock dropped a whole bunch over the last year or so and the board just let Steve Jobs trade old options for new. That ain't chickenfeed, boys and girls, but we want to keep him happy and working hard, yes? -- and we surely don't want Jobs reduced to chasing skunks away from his bird feeder so he won't have to spend $7.98 at Wal-Mart to buy another 25 pound bag.

I know we don't, because I just did, and it was dangerous! Skunks do respond to "Shoo!", albeit slowly, and the last thing you want to do is get on a skunk's case. He (?) finally ambled off, but not before casing out my pickup truck. I was lucky, though: the animal decided to save his WMD for worthier prey than an '87 F-150, and I can't say I blame him.

Love that Little Al
A few of you may have noticed that I've posted quite a load of, um, stories about how hot certain 12-inch aluminum PowerBooks are getting. In at least a few cases, this is absolutely true, of course, but it's also true that part of every 1,000th bite of meatloaf ends up in your lap. (What, you didn't know that?) In the course of posting the articles from the few with hands wrapped in bandages, I've heard from tons more who love their Little Als with a passion bordering on the obscene. What I'm saying is, yes, they literally would. The product is that attractive.

One telling anecdote concerns a guy who bought one to use with an external monitor and keyboard, a trick I personally think is wisdom of the highest order. (When you take your portable on the road, you have all your stuff. Whenever I pack up the iBook, I have to be sure I first transfer all the relevant files, etc. etc.) Anyhow, this person soon found himself typing merrily away on the 12-inch all the time instead of the big external, because he loves its keyboard so much. Another correspondent swears his 12-inch never gets more than just a little bit warm, and he has it in use almost constantly. And a guy in Australia says he can hold his in one hand and type with the other ... Wow! Is that portable or what?

So there you have it, and I want one. I might even have an "excuse" soon, as my wife will be taking the iBook along if she heads off to look for work. Yes, it may have come to that. I'm not famous yet, though I feel rich, and that's a good sign. But I could be here in the Land of Entrapment all by myself for a while, holing up to crank out the magic (it had better be magic, too). I'm thinking super-minimalist: three shirts, two pairs of jeans, a 12-inch PowerBook, printer, paper, and maybe a bed. Can the health disinsurance, sell the crap, rent a hut. Eat sunflower seeds and old sandal straps. Take up running again and lose weight. My honey would like all that, of course, especially if I cut my hair before driving up to see her, but I know what happened to Sampson.

Free alternate reality mini-postscript!
On the other hand, if the Bioneers give me a crack at that Director of Communications job (why haven't they?!), I'll buy a damn S.U.V. and crush rare plants driving out into the desert to find a nice spot to write with my PowerBook. I'll burn all the $3.00 per gallon high-test I can cram into the thing and -- no wait, that won't work with the 'neers. Oops! So scratch that. If I sell enough books or get a real gig, I'll buy us a farm and raise organic hamburgers. I'll bet you think I'm kidding, but there's a guy just north of here [see below] who's raising yaks! (Really true).

Try that in Baltimore and see what the neighbors think.

"Grack!"

Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr invites your comments.

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Like pictures of el Norte?

Salon Weblog, not easy or gentle:

(Hey, read this too. Cool images! "What It Is About El Rito,")

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