March 26, 2001

Join the party! Only don't install that firmware update...

BOY AM I STUPID!
Here I am sitting in the mountains running out of money and sense, so what do I do but go ahead and order the OS X package from MacWarehouse ($99.95). I can't even run it on my XLR8 450MHz G3-upgraded PowerMac 8600 because the XLR8 elves in Georgia haven't gotten around to writing the software to enable the processor's L2 cache. Assuming I can trick the installation CD into dumping its Unix guts onto one of my two hard drives, the new OS might work, only slowly as molasses in January. There's a piece of geekware out there called L2CacheConfig that helped with the public beta but as of this writing does not work with OS X. Until the author has a chance to write and deliver an updated version, I'm temporarily stuck.

To hear the guys at MacGurus OS X forum talk about it, Apple is just being swinish about not writing OS X to run on upgraded machines from the git-go. I wouldn't know about that, given that all upgrade cards are different. I do know that Sonnett has written the code to make their cards work, so why can't XLR8?! They must have delegated that task to the same doofus who dumbed down their Web site. Have you seen it? Great big ugly Windows School of Web Design colored divider bars, eeechh.

BUT MAYBE NOT ALONE?
Lessee now, I do have an iBook running OS 8.6. Apple says I need 1.5 GB of drive space for the OS X installation, which needs OS 9.1 to work. Does this mean I have to partition the puny little 3 GB hard drive? I read a post at MacFixIt's Troubleshooting OS X forum that claims I should have 2 GB just for OS 9.1! Things are gonna get a little crowded in there. I'm also reading notes from people throwing all kinds of gigabytes at OS X. Is Apple serious about the 1.5 gig thing? Geez, I wish I were a geek. Suppose I wipe the drive, cut it in half (partition), install OS X on one half and OS 9.1 on the other. Is that how this works? Will my teeny little Toshiba hard drive explode? Will Apple Support claim I poured coffee into my iBook on purpose? Hello?? ["Is this thing on?"]

Earlier today I read a supposedly authoritative column by a techmeister of some sort who said he wouldn't dream of trying to install OS X on a Rev.A iBook -- yet Apple says it's just dandy. Somebody is pulling my string, and maybe yours! At least by the time most of you read this, there will have been thousands of weekend installation attempts, some of them on iBooks, and I should have plenty of first-hand accounts to read before I dive in. If I do, that is. You see, the real reason I bought OS X is because I want OS 9.1. Apple is including the 9.1 CD because OS X needs it to run older apps. I checked at MacWarehouse: OS 9.1, $99.95. OS X (box has 9.1 plus developer CD), $99.95. Well, duh! I get the full version of OS 9.1 with OS X thrown in, or the other way around if you will. Can't beat that with a stick, I say.

And why do I need 9.1 if 8.6 is running perfectly?

Well, it isn't, or rather AirPort's not. I need OS 9.1 so I can finally install the AirPort upgrades that require it. That miserable, steenking AirPort app (which I dearly love, don't get me wrong) freezes and crashes the iBook at least every other time we turn it on! Nothing helps, either, and believe me, I've done it all: countless system reinstalls, AirPort reinstalls, yada yada yada. Either it freezes or claims it can't read the status of the base station. Configuring that sucker is a real hassle under the circumstances, too.

OS X ARMY LEAVES THE BARRACKS
So maybe I will and maybe I won't. I like a lot of the OS X features I've read about, like the Finder Undo command, the PDF stuff, and all the rest. I'd also like to try Apple's "Mail" app, especially if I can customize it to NOT look like the cutesy crap Apple has up on its Web site. Same thing for the rest of the interface: THAT "FAVORITES" ICON HAS GOT TO GO! I hope this thing is as hackable as they say, so I can fix the Brownie scout junk (some of us have Unix friends in high places -- you'll all help me, won't you?!).

Well, this has been fun. For a long time I've been a curmudgeonly Luddite when it comes to OS X, mainly just to poke the bear and because I was bored with the incessant buzz. But now that X is REALLY HERE, it turns out that all kinds of people are writing really cool, bizarre apps & utilities for it that do things I don't even understand. All of a sudden, I'm not bored, I'm curious! And I keep hearing the word "faster," which always gets my attention. I know I want to see what the fuss is all about, besides which it's the future, like it or not: continuing to whine and rail against this thing would be like kvetching about the invention of flight. And then there's the tramp, tramp, tramp of marching feet, something that always raises a goosebump or two. Over at Mac Observer, Bryan Chaffin is waxing eloquent about "The Power to Be My Best," which sounds about as close to "Be All That You Can Be" as a civilian can get. Remember those old WWII movies?

"Aw, gee whiz, Ma, I have to go enlist with the rest of the fellers! Jimmy can have my catcher's mitt. Don't worry, I'll take care of myself. And when I come back, I'll be a MAN!"

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING, ALMOST
OK, I've ordered it. I'll have it. Maybe I'll try it on the iBook. And if XLR8 ever gets its act together, I'll install it on the 8600's second hard drive just so I can play with it. I'll be on the bus. I'll know what everyone is talking about. I'll be able to "pass."

"Hey, you know that OS X?"

"Yeah man, dig it: Command Line City, man. Unix in a kindergarten suit."

"Hey, way to go, dude! Yer awright..."

But the BIG drive, the heart and soul of the beast Barracuda I just installed on the 8600,will remain pure. Traditional. "Real" Mac. I'll go so far as to load it up with 9.1 but that's it. I use this machine at least eight hours a day, every day. It works. From all indications, OS X does too, and if it works better, well, there you go: out with the old, in with the new. Settle in and never look back, yessiree. I'll tattoo a big X on my forehead and die happy.

However. . .

When we moved out here to New Mexico, we sold our 1927 house in Maryland to bankroll the adventure. Things are pretty cool here and the landscape is the most awesome I've ever seen, but I'm still not rich -- and from time to time I really miss the old place. It was pretty funky, but most everything worked, and we were comfy (despite the drafts and the mildew). As you might well imagine, I've had my lonely, desperate moments when I might have moved back if we still owned the dump. In other words, ladies and gentlemen:

I ain't making the same mistake TWICE!

Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr thinks his ship is just over the horizon and on its way in, maybe even docking at the Zoozone (his personal Web site). The Zoozone features a different New Mexico image every day at FotoFeed, by the way, and happens to be where you can read brand-new FARR SITE columns as they're sporadically posted. Go take a look, why doncha.

AUDIO CREDIT: embedded 44k file, European Birds -- Sounds and Sonograms. (Just be glad I didn't loop the sucker.)