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"MA! Bobby hit me!"
I often wonder why people bother to write long, nasty e-mails to someone they've never even met. Yes, I got one of those last week. It was kind of an evil masterpiece in its own way and made me glad the country is run by rich corporate goons instead of megalomaniacal narcissistic geeks.

The most pleasant part of the message was the assertion that my Applelinks work is irrelevant because my Mac's too old, I whine too much, won't admit I'm a "failure," etc. My first reaction was, "Go suck a mongoose, I'm on the Internet and you're not, nyah-nyah!" My second was, "So, how did you cut your lip?" [smirk, giggle, wink] Sure, it is harder to write about the latest stuff if I don't have it. On the other hand, there are people writing about sex who aren't getting any, columnists writing about money who don't have a cent, and a guy riding on Air Force One who lost by half a million votes -- so SHUT UP ALREADY! Why, he even ridiculed my plan to install OS X on one of the 8600's hard drives. This is not a nice man.

In fact, with the glaring exception of a certain PC punk's e-mailed death threat (!) a couple of years ago, the ugliest hate mail I've received since I started this gig has come from alleged Macintosh professionals. These would be consultants or IT people, basically (not Apple employees!), though one was a Mac poobah whose name you'd recognize. That one took great umbrage at my satirizing people who can't fly without their laptops, but he's due for a humor transplant if a compatible donor can be found. The doctors aren't hopeful (geeks being geeks), but I think I have a lead.

"Out, demons, out!"
Someone who might have enough self-confidence and irony to spare for the purpose runs a nifty site called F---Microsoft.com. This thing's no one-joke wonder, either. There's an updated index of Microsoft-related news links that can't help but make the site's case for itself, and the sidebar has a nice long list of karma-balancing alternatives.

At the bottom of said sidebar is a link to something called the MSBC Superlist of Anti-Microsoft Web Sites . I didn't even know there was a Microsoft Boycott Campaign (MSBC), but darned if there isn't. You want more links? MSBC actually goes to the trouble of maintaining an archive of discontinued anti-Microsoft sites, which you have to admit is rather bizarre. I looked around the place and found another list of Microsoft alternatives, an online bookstore, a newsletter, and more. Not half bad, but the other place is funnier. MSBC is green, too (literally). Ick.

If the guy behind PokeMicrosoftRudely.com is reads this, he'll probably think I only mentioned his work because he sent me an e-mail claiming he was printing out the latest GRACK! while making fun of all the broken links at jhfarr.com. Well, maybe. On the other hand, this is war. Everything is war these days, right? (Say, did you hear that Enron guy worth $35 million who shot himself had tried to hire a bodyguard the day before? Um...) Anyway, valor for the cause should be recognized. Buy the man a beer and get an email address that reads, well, you know (check the URL). I think I'll snag one just for posting to stupid Talkback forums or sending messages to Mom.

And now for something serious
Not that the preceding wasn't as somber and cold as a deacon's wallet, but I heard from Scott McCarty of Graphic Power yesterday. No deacon he, Scott was in the process of putting together an article entitled "The State of the Mac Web" which is really all about advertising revenue (or the lack of it) and wanted a paragraph from me. Not having any better sense, I gave him three. [below] Selling subscriptions to Web site content is all the rage now, and what follows may answer a question or two. It may also get me into trouble and prompt more hate mail from people unnecessarily pointing out that I don't know what I'm talking about, but here goes:

Don't chisel any of this in stone, but as far as I know, Applelinks is not planning to adopt any kind of subscription-based business model. I know for a fact that management regards it as "a complete waste of time," especially the idea of an advertising-free subscription site. Think about it: for a site as large as Applelinks, the work involved in just setting up such an alternative would be tremendous. I suppose we'd also have to double our server capacity. Considering that, and when you factor in the administrative headaches as well, the short-term revenue boost just isn't worth it. Applelinks *is* considering other ways to increase revenue, but who isn't? As far as advertisers are concerned, my understanding is that we've made it past the bottom of the slump and that things are actually picking up a bit -- but nobody is breaking out the champagne yet.

In any case, the Mac Web got its start as a community of users freely sharing information and opinions, and my personal view is that Mac sites and paid subscriptions don't mix. I can't see that MacFixIt, for example, can sustain a pay-for-info scheme for very long, especially if too much of the good stuff is moved to the subscription zone. People will just say "screw you" and not go there at all. When you're talking Macs, you're talking *enthusiasts,* people who will write for free and even trample each other under in a stampede to put their opinions on the Web. (I wouldn't be surprised if someone paid for a MacFixIt subscription, stole a bunch of tips, and posted them to a free site.) No, for subscriptions to work, you have to offer something unique, something special, something juicy. Salon has sexy stuff for sale, and I suppose the naughty bits featured on both channels at least download faster with no ads. But even there, only a tiny percentage of all their viewers opt to pay.

This is all copycat stuff anyway. Here and there you'll see innovative approaches, but so far not on the Mac Web. I'd recommend that everyone keep a close eye on sites like E-Media Tidbits (http://www.poynter.org/tidbits/), where you'll find an ongoing discussion of things like advertising & revenue schemes for online news sites.

Don't forget the read the whole article at Graphic Power, and tell 'em I sent you.

Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr has been busy on the side with jhfarr.com and apologizes profusely for the fact that his poor ole Power Mac 8600 is more than adequate for everything he needs to do. He's been advised to sell his truck and buy a new Mac but not even a dual 1GHz hotrod can carry all those boxes from the storage unit. Something tells him this doesn't matter. ("TWO processors, you say?")

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Jan. 28: "Full Moon Frenzy, w/ PowerMacs" Jan. 21: "iMacs & Webmaster Schadenfreude" Jan. 14: "Was It Only a Week Ago?" Jan. 7: "Useless Column" Dec. 31, '01: "I Want a Refund"

AUDIO CREDIT: embedded 44k file, European Birds -- Sounds and Sonograms.

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