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Shazam, I'm a Publisher!
Can I Buy That Harley Now?

December 23, 2002

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Is this a great Internet or what?
If the answer to the question, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" is "practice!" then the answer to "How do I keep from having to stack fruit for a living?" is to work my darn tail off! Well, I have been working, and as near as I can tell, I seem to be tail-less, so I must have fulfilled most of the cultural requirements for success except the one about inherited wealth. There are those who say that's the only one that counts, but if I believed that, I'd either have driven into the gorge already or pushed a certain pair of old ladies in front of a bus. What can I say, I believe in myself, so for better or worse I'm doomed to succeed on my own.That doesn't quite sound right, but I think you know what I mean.

Basically, what I decided to do is use this medium to my advantage. The approach I chose is probably useless for someone whose Web sites get so little traffic, but what I did was set up a miniature shopping mall in the sidebar of my FARRFEED Weblog at Salon. I figured that got the most hits, see, and I already had something to sell: the newly photo-illustrated version of my eBook about starting over in New Mexico. Accordingly, BUFFALO LIGHTS (Giving Up & Getting Back) went in at the top. And then I got serious: Affiliate City! Yes, I signed up with a few of my favorite vendors, the ones that give you a cut of sales from click-throughs, and also with a classy nude photography site. "WHAT?!" Now don't have a hissy fit, it's totally respectable and very well done. I also happen to know that the whole thing is put together and administered with a pair of shiny new Macs, which just goes to show you can do more with these things than send emails to Granny.

Okay, I haven't made a cent yet. But the FarrFeed Mall is up and running, and at some point I'll incorporate the concept into as many of my other Web pages as I can. At this point, five bucks from a few ink cartridge or Mac T-shirt sales is five bucks I don't have, so what the hey: bring it on. You never know, on any given day a few thousand accidentally misdirected Web surfers who just can't live without a Mac logo coffee mug or a subscription to peek at pretty girls might descend en masse to my little corner of the Internet in a fevered clicking frenzy and give me enough money to buy another Zip disk. But that's chickenfeed, as somebody used to say. What I really want to talk about is this:

Birth of an empire!
All right, that's an exaggeration. It's not even the birth of a very good Web site, but it's there and I did it. As most of you know, I've been pimping er, pushing an eBook I put together this fall (see down there below the raven squawk). All well and good, I sold about 40 copies of the original version and then the sales pooped out. I knew that some people were waiting for the photo-illustrated version, so I finally finished it and have it on the server now. The 155-page illustrated version sells for ten bucks, same as the text-only edition originally, which now goes for just half that. But wait: now I have two books to sell. Hmm...

I also had a wonderful domain name about to expire, ZOOPILOT.COM. I'd previously used that for a Web design business that never really got off the ground, probably because I discovered that everyone wants the Internet on a (free) platter. You may have a successful Web design business and I congratulate you if you do. It just wasn't for me, and it turned out that the only sites I really wanted to spend a lot of time and energy on were my own (imagine that). But back to the domain.

There was a time once when I had a band, at least in my head. The Zoo Pilots actually came together for one formal gig (and several spontaneous parties & jam sessions), but that was enough to provide a wealth of recorded material that I used for songwriter demos. That, plus I had a great time designing black & white gig posters, cassette case labels, and other promotional material with MacPaint (!) on our old original Macintosh. So if having a few songs and playing a loud electric 12-string made me a songwriter, then having more than one eBook to sell and a Web site to pitch them from made me a potential publisher, I realized.

Zoo Pilot Publishing
I had earlier sold the eBook as "a JHFarr.com publication," but more than one person pointed out that using my own name for a business, at least a publishing business, was like screaming "SELF-PUBLISHED!" at the top of my lungs. Not that there's anything wrong with self-publishing, no siree, not now, not with the entire publishing industry in the midst of an ongoing rolling earthquake. But there are more reasons that were apparent at first for at least posing as a separate entity by giving the thing a different name.

Obviously, "Zoo Pilot Publishing" doesn't scream "amateur" quite so loudly, it only sort of barks it, tentatively. I hope there's a difference. And this way, using all the wondrous Internet tools at my command like email forwarding, etc., I can call myself the editor -in-chief of ZPP and have it actually be true. There are Web sites that promote electronic books, there are promotional techniques, and so forth, that require a contact from a publisher, not the author, so this gives me a fighting chance to get noticed. And while I was setting up my Zoo Pilot Publishing site, the big "DUH!" hit me like a loaf of soggy bread across the face: I could really become a publisher by selling eBooks that other people write.

Well I never. I sure can and I sure will. The first thing I'll do is use ZPP to promote and sell all the bits and pieces of my own creative output that are lying scattered and useless on this page of HTML or that. The second thing I'll do is try some new digital product ideas I've been kicking around and discussing with a few email buddies. And the THIRD THING I'll do (by God) is actually start taking submissions from talented weirdos who want to publish their work! Not yet, but soon.

I don't care about getting rich, but I do care about steering clear of the gorge.    

"Grack!"

Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr wishes all you monkeys a Big Fat Merry One.


Salon Weblog! Click early and often: Read FarrFeed or wish you had!

The illustrated BUFFALO LIGHTS eBook is now ready! It's all about starting over in New Mexico. Don't try this at home, kids!


GRACK Update List PHASE-OUT!

GRACK! updates will now be included in the all-new FARR SITE NEWS newslist. To join up, just CLICK HERE and send a blank email.

GRACK! 2001 archives are HERE.
(Current year's columns just below) 

Dec. 16: "JPEGs Out the Gazoot"
Dec. 9:
"Lighting Ledoux"
Dec. 2:
"The Amazing Self-Healing AirPort"
Nov. 25:
"When Good Computers Do Bad Things"
Nov. 18:
"Free RAM & the $50 BMW"
Nov. 11:
"Auto-Apocalypse"
Nov. 4: "
Party Like It's 1499"
Oct. 28: "
Splitting Wood & Hard Drives"
Oct. 21: "
Second Time's a Charm"
Oct. 14: "
Wombat Ramble"
Oct. 7: "
Animal Action"
Sept. 30: "
Monday Mood-Shot"
Sept. 23: "
Vacas in the Valle"
Sept. 16: "
Great Ebook Rollout"
Sept. 9: "
Hanging In & Hanging Out"
Sept. 2: "
Bubble, Trouble, Toil, & Livestock"
Aug. 26 "
Digital Video in el Norte"
Aug. 19: "
Vitamins for the Soul"
Aug. 12: "
PowerSuck G12 MP Killumded"
Aug. 5: "
Sublimity of the Mundane"
July 29: "
Sweating It Out"
July 22: "
Keynotes & Kittycats"
July 15: "
Weird Week in Store"
July 8: "
Beauty Treatment"
July 1: "
Quantum Warriors"
June 24: "
Wait, I'm Not Done Yet!"
June 17: "
Magnum Mysterium"
June 10 "
Six Weeks Before the Mast"
June 3: "
Hair, Skin, and Bare Feet"
May 27: "
I Went on a Trip to Mingus"
May 20: "
Creative Procrastination"
May 13: "
It's Ten O'clock!"
May 6: "
Sagebrush Saga"
Apr. 29 "
Universe of Lies"
Apr. 22: "
Earth Day All the Time"
Apr. 15: "
Oh, THOSE Taxes!"
Apr. 8: "
Turn Left at the Llamas"
Apr. 1: "
April Drool"
Mar. 25: "
Tuzas on the Curb"
Mar. 18: "
Holy Ghostbeak"
Mar. 11: "
Lord of the Turkeys"
Mar. 4: "
The Heart of the Matter"
Feb. 25: "
New Stuff: Browsers, Servers, etc."
Feb. 18: "
Mascot Lore & More"
Feb. 11: "
Killer Email & Wiccan PotLuck"
Feb. 4: "
Meanies, Guerillas, & Subscription Copycats"
Jan. 28: "
Full Moon Frenzy, w/ PowerMacs"
Jan. 21: "
iMacs & Webmaster Schadenfreude"
Jan. 14: "
Was It Only a Week Ago?"
Jan. 7: "
Useless Column"
Dec. 31, '01: "
I Want a Refund"

AUDIO CREDIT: embedded 44k file, European Birds -- Sounds and Sonograms.

DESIGN CREDIT: GRACK! byline graphic by Bob Farr.

"GRACK!" is © copyright 2002, John H. Farr, all rights reserved

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