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How the Mac Will Overcome (Familiar ground again) Don't
worry What science editor Robin McKie is talking about is an overdue "flipping" of the earth's magnetic poles. (There's even going to be a sci-fi thriller about this coming out next year.) According to the article, during the accompanying sudden drop in the intensity of the planet's magnetic field, all kinds of gruesome things could happen. A similar event on Mars is thought to have been responsible for making the Red Planet the lovely vacation spot it is today, in fact. "As to humans, our greatest risk would come from intense solar radiation bursts. Normally these are contained by the planet's magnetic field in space. However, if it disappears, particle storms will start to batter the atmosphere. In light of recent events highlighting any number of bizarrely illogical and contradictory trends in our country and the world, it's refreshing to consider a natural event that's totally out of our control. What I mean is, one isn't likely to go mad with frustration over nobody doing anything about it. Crazy with fear, perhaps, but not anger at one's fellow man. On the other hand, things like slashing the budget for everything except killing large numbers of swarthy non-Christians strikes me as rather unwise every time another corporate crook makes off with the swag or my car hits a pothole on the Interstate. I've even been known to think unfondly of Apple and IDG World Expo for putting Mac users' butts in a sling over whatever they're squabbling about. But the prospect of being spontaneously cooked by microwaves from outer space puts it all in perspective, yes indeedy.  Well,
maybe "The effects could be catastrophic. Powerful radiation bursts, which normally never touch the atmosphere, would heat up its upper layers, triggering climatic disruption. Navigation and communication satellites, Earth's eyes and ears, would be destroyed and migrating animals left unable to navigate. But maybe we won't get cooked. Maybe nothing will happen except that satellites fall out of the sky and all the birds get lost and die. Who needs robins, anyway? Your cell phones may not work, and as for computer hard drives... um....you see where this is leading? If so, please clue me in. ("Wait a minute, CDs are optical media! Who cares about solar storms? Why, I'll just slap this baby down and reinstall the software! But why won't my iBook wake up? Oh no, the motherboard... <whimper>...") It does suggest that our preoccupation with these machines I'm typing on and whether MIcrosoft needs to be boiled in poison oil amount to very little in the overall scheme of things. This is a subject I've touched on before, of course. (Still warm, too.) From time to time I have this weird intuition that human beings are really meant for Better Things than whatever we're mucking about with. I dunno, call it the extreme contrarian P.O.V., or maybe D.H.O.V. (Dead Hippies On Viagra). Call it "Jennifer" for all I care, but I am not talking about sitting on a cloud playing a harp. I'm talking about powers of mind and spirit. No, really. Anyway, we just might need something to concentrate on while we're watching the glaciers eat Manhattan. And wouldn't it be the biggest joke of all if paper turns out to be the only storage medium with any real longevity to speak of? That, and -- hang onto your noggins -- oral history?! The inability to maintain one's attention span longer than thirty seconds will become a distinct evolutionary disadvantage for techies if the only way to keep Unix alive is through orders of chanting monks: "0001100101001110100010011101...."  Aw,
go on, be happy In the meantime, it's open season on anyone without a flag, oil wells to ransom, or a paid-up Windows license, so if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a decent mine shaft. Obscurity has its advantages, and if I go deep enough, the dirt will shield my hard drives. Something tells me no one will laugh, either, when I eventually emerge, lugging that ol' tangerine toilet-seat by the handle: "Ready to talk MARKET SHARE, cousins?" Senior Applelinks editor and columnist John H. Farr assumes full responsibility for the content of this fine work of literature and hopes you'll click on all the links below. The included photos are © 2002 by the author, and you can find more like 'em at FotoFeed.com.
(Current year's columns just below)
"GRACK!" is © copyright 2002, John H. Farr, all rights reserved
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