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You Didn't Think I'd Do It, Didja? Keep that drum roll going... First
some background Why oh why are things not manufactured anymore as well as the "Optima CD-Writer" he sent me? The thing was huge, about the size of two contemporary CD burners, with an actual fan-cooled power supply inside the case with the CD drive. The front and rear panels of the case were machined aluminum, the plastic cover sturdy enough to stand on, and everything about it was awesome, except that I couldn't get it to work, who knows why? (You remember SCSI chains, don't you? Well...) But the beast was impressive, every bit as loud as the Power Mac, too. Hmm. What I eventually did was try to swap the burner itself with the original Apple CD-ROM drive, an exercise that resulted in at least a dozen bungled installations while I played Guess Where the Jumpers Go. By the time I gave up, I'd lost the Zip and who knows what else on the 8600, so I put it all back together and was astounded to see everything working again. For the moment I still can't burn CDs, but considering I'd been using the Que!, nothing has really changed. I've been waiting a whole week for a 10-pack of Zip disks from Amazon ("expedited" two-day shipping for Wile E. Coyote clones like me) so I can back up some very important stuff before installing OS X, and that's where we stand -- or stood, because a emailed bargain list from MacResQ got me all excited about an "enterprise" model 9GB 10,000 rpm SCSI hard drive, woo-hoo! With normal ground shipping it got here in less time than I've spent so far waiting for my Zips, of course.  Go
for the gusto I used to think these things were like Holy Mechanisms, but now they're just toasters. There was a time when I prepared for inside-the-case Mac work by fasting for a week, purifying myself in a sweat lodge ceremony, and making sure I had a spotless, static-free work table. There was also a time when I skulked around pharmacy counters before a date so I could buy a couple you-know-whats without anyone spotting me (not that those two bygone eras ever coincided, but you get my drift). Now I just push everything on my desk over to one side in a ragged heap, throw the Power Mac on its side, and plunge in, phooey. I don't even wear a static strap for most chores, just keep slapping that power supply housing. By the time I'll well into the job, the floor is covered with bits of plastic static wrap, old newspapers, little tiny screws I'll wish I'd been more careful with, and I've lost my coffee cup. This time was no exception, and I soon discovered that there was no way to attach the new drive to the existing SCSI ribbon cable inside the 8600. I needed an extension, of course. It was now well past eleven and I'm doing this in Taos, New Mexico, where SCSI ribbon cables don't grow on trees, even before five. I'd been waiting a long time to do this installation, my computer was in pieces, I couldn't stand to just put everything back together and wait until I had a chance to track down a bleeping ribbon cable, so what did I do? DIE, FLOPPY, DIE! Any old port in a storm, right? I pulled the bezel off, and a full ounce of evil brown dust fell out onto the desk. No matter, I thought, I'll just undo these screws and pop out the drive sled. AAGHH! About half a pound of dust, feathers, and small mammal bones ended up all over the floor, my pants, and a new fleece vest I'd forgotten to take off. No way any floppy disk would have functioned in that drive, but I vacuumed it out and set it aside for donation to the Smithsonian. There was a problem, though.  Bailing
wire and chewing gum I had to pop off all the SCSI connections and slide the ribbon cable around to hook everything up. You should also know that before I started this, I actually went to the Western Digital Web site and printed out a diagram of how to set the jumpers for SCSI ID #2, but of course there were no jumpers on the bloody drive and I didn't have any of those, either. Fortunately, the Que! burner had one that fit, hahaha. The required SCSI adapter blocked off the Power Mac's power plug, so I had to crunch & mangle, ick. Amazingly, incredibly, when I finally closed the case and fired up the 8600, everything worked. I formatted the new drive and that's all there is to tell for now. Nothing's been installed, no Jaguar yet. I'm just having too much fun double-clicking on the drive icons and watching how fast the window opens. The 8600 isn't any noisier than it was before, and the open floppy bay slot seems to make a great air inlet for cooling the high-speed drive. Of course, without that little flap on the floppy drive opening, there's nothing at all to slow the dust down. Oops! Still Proud & Grateful Dept.: The eBook advertised below won the "Best Self-Published Book" category of MyMac.com's 5th Annual Book Bytes Awards! So go look, why doncha? And tell me what you think. -- JHF
The
illustrated BUFFALO LIGHTS eBook is
now
ready!
It's all about giving up everything to start a new
life in New Mexico instead of getting rich and
comfy. (Hey, wait a minute...)
(Current year's columns just below)
"GRACK!" is © copyright 2003, John H. Farr, all rights reserved
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