NEW MEXICO OR BUST: Part Two

The rest of the trip was a revelation in itself.

The glorious thing about the route we took was that from the middle of Kansas on, there were no Interstate highways! (Naturally I made the mistake of thinking that meant no trucks, silly boy that I am.) As soon as we passed badly-misnamed Garden City, KS heading west into Colorado on US 50, we were in the Land of Feedlots! And I have to say, I think it would be a good thing if all you happy beef-eating folks out there could experience first-hand just where your hamburgers and steaks actually come from. . .

(Pretty scary, boys and girls!)

If you've never seen it, you can't imagine the scope of it all. Thousands and thousands of cattle chowing down in immense fields of cowpoop, bulldozers piling up huge mountains of manure, and an utterly indescribable smell. Surrounding these vast acreages of bovine hell are even vaster fields of corn, sorghum, and whatever else is needed to fatten the bawling critters. We're talking agribusiness on a phenomenonally grand scale here, horizon-to-horizon. For mile after mile there isn't a trace of whatever passed for natural landscape in this part of the world, just cows, corn, and poop, that's it. (Oh, and an occasional Wal-Mart SuperStore!) It's hard to take it all in and not feel just a little bit afraid: if there is a God (and I've seen no indication to the contrary), somebody is going to pay the piper, sooner or later. You don't mess with Mother Earth on such a scale and get off scot-free, no way, no how.

Everyone should also know that virtually all the cattle feed is grown on irrigated fields. Most of the water comes from deep wells that tap into acquifers carrying water that last fell as rain when wooly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers roamed the plains, if that recently. (When that's gone, well. . .)

It's going to be a while before yours truly has another quarter-pounder with cheese. We're actually having beef for dinner tonight, but it's going to be hormone-free Angus beef from what I will endeavor to imagine is a cute little mom-and-pop ranching operation high up in the mountains, all clean and green, where spiritually enlightened cowboy gurus watch over the contented beasties. . . (hoo-hah!)

And the trucks on US 50? Nearly every one was carrying cattle to distant feedlots. The tall 18-wheelers went by one after the other with a painful eardrum-busting WHOMP, cowpoop running down the sides of the stinking trailers. . . not until we reached La Junta, Colorado was there any relief from the onslaught. And then. . .

And then, people, the West began!

I wish all my friends back East could take Colorado Route 10 from La Junta to Walsenburg, oh my Lord. What a trip: 73 miles of gradually rising prairie that eventually opens up to reveal the front range of the Rocky Mountains. There is no way to describe this, none at all. The early settlers would have approached the scene gradually, a few miles at a time, slow enough to accustom themselves to the sight. In a car you fly into all this with shocking speed. It really is almost too much to stand.

From Walsenburg on it was up, all of a sudden. The sign outside of town read: "La Veta Pass -- Open," which should make flatlanders stop and think, at least. ("The pass is open. That's good, isn't it? But uh, that means it's sometimes closed, right??") The big six-cylinder in the pickup did a good job hauling yours truly and all that computer gear up and over the top as an icy cold rain started to fall, and I mean icy. Just a few more degrees and the sign outside Walsenburg would have read differently!

The rest of the trip down into New Mexico was equally spectacular. I took an astounding award-winning photo of the most brilliant rainbow I've ever seen, high up on a mountainside. . . but my reputation as a photographer will have to wait until I learn to load film properly: after several days of even more unbelievably great shooting I discovered that the film had never engaged the little sprockets like it should. All I had on the roll were 24 images on top of each other! [sounds of sobbing, cursing, and rending of garments]

(Digital camera, Farr, digital camera. . .)

The big news after we arrived was that the PowerMac 8600 and all accompanying peripherals survived the long, bumpy 4-day road trip in perfect shape! And not only that -- several weeks before I had taken John Martellaro's advice and made arrangements with US West to activate the phone service before we left, and I signed up with La Plaza Telecommunity* in Taos at the same time, so that I was able to go online from this high mountain valley just minutes after unpacking the Mac! Joy unbounded, everything worked! (What a great computer! What a great country! What a damned relief!)

If anything, the 8600 seems to run faster. Surely this is an illusion: four days of shaking, baking, and freezing can't be good for this equipment, or can it? The PowerBook 540c still runs, too. Who'da thought? Yesirree, it's just one miracle after another. No wrecks, no car trouble, and two good motels out of three. While we were on the road, Steve Jobs let loose the Power Macintosh G4 AltiVec machines on an unsuspecting world. Apple Computer stock hit a record high. This is a little spooky, don't you think, all this good news??

Hopefully before the month is out, I'll be witness to another miracle, watching the UPS truck make it down the precipitous boulder-strewn goat path that passes for a road into this place! The driver will be bringing me a gorgeous new tangerine iBook. . .if I take it out of the box, punch the button, and it springs to life like it should, well geez: a surfeit of miracles!

Then all I'll have to do is get this herd o' Macs working hard on something productive to bring in some bucks. It costs money to live, even in paradise, but so far everything is lookin' good! (Of course, it hasn't started snowing yet.)

Now: who wants to buy a fine 70-year-old house on the Eastern Shore, hmm? I can make you a great deal. . .

John H. Farr also edits the Apple Computer News for Applelinks.com and invites your comments. The Farr Site Archives have links to all past columns and occasional snippets of biographical info.

To be notified whenever the column is updated, just send a message titled "Subscribe FSN" to this address.

* The other ISP in Taos is TaosNet. One of the founders is a major Mac guru, Jim Tucker. Check out this page to see Jim and all his friends!

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May 16, 2012