John H. Farr
is a writer and artist living at 7,000 feet or so in Taos,
New Mexico. He used to crank out one of these FARR
SITE columns every week but now concentrates on
GRACK!
As Senior Editor for Applelinks
, John also writes the daily news. His personal
Zoozone site
features current FARR SITE columns, which focus on life in
northern New Mexico. For a different New Mexico photo every
day, please visit FotoFeed.com.
Want more? A complete Web index of all written works by John
H. Farr, including online archived versions of material
appearing originally in print, is available at JHFarr.com.
Drop by and take a look!
And don't forget to visit the FARR SITE archive pages for
2000
and 1999.
There's a full three years' worth to read...
"It's
A Hit!" features a
Post-Road Trip Special: Cyberspace Yuletide,
Scrooge On the Run, and Dastardly Doings in
Dubuque. PowerBooks and iMacs in strange places
bring holiday cheer and a promise of more good
things to come.
"Iowa
Noch Einmal!" features
Back to Iowa! PowerBook on the Prairie, Arctic
Memories, and Mummies in Des Moines. Author and
wife brave Alberta Clipper on annual holiday road
trip to the frozen heartland.
"Johnny
Internet: Missing
Links?" New! The latest
chapter in our saga features Bad Mental Hygiene,
Maseratis in the Mountains, and How to Live Longer
and Have More Sex. Johnny boots up as phantoms go
offline!
"Hot
RAM Ramble" features a
Sneak Attack Special! December Heat Wave, Good Ole
Austin, and RAM Ranching West 'o the Pecos. Global
warming and too much memory send author round the
Bend, Texas-style.
"Stumps
on the Beach" features
an Assateague Thanksgiving: Islands That Move,
Birds That Do Everything, and Five Christmas PCs
That Don't Work. Turkey-free is the way to be as
author hits the dunes.
"Johnny
Internet: Chapter Three"
(The Last in a Series?) features Gazing at the
Gorge, Internet Jobs, and a Blessing from the
Dentist. Johnny goes to the mountains and gets
zapped on way to writing the news.
"Johnny
Internet: Chapter Two"
features the Second in a Special Series! Cat Skull
Fever, Zoofloovia '96, and Big Medicine in the
Kitchen. Author commits art and is guided by
spirits with VISA cards.
"Johnny
Internet: Chapter One"
features the First in a Special Series! Aphid
Races, Zoo Pilots, and the Amazing Origin of Johnny
Internet. Author reveals all in stunning
exposé and gets lost in cyberspace with only
15 MHz!
"Christ-o-ween?
Windows 2000??" features
Solar (Not Satanic), Get Out of My Holiday Please,
and Whats the Deal with Windows NT? Wicca-weary
wackos waste words while Windows waits. . .and why
we'll worry!
"MacHippies
and Other Wonders"
features Email Insight, What Really Happened and
Why It's Cool, and How to Scare Your Fathers. John
and Yoko selling Macs? Brilliant iMac paradox??
Vindication of the Sixties??? Woo-hoo!
"I
Do Not Mind" features
Optimizing Everything, or Doing What You Like and
To Hell With the Consequences! Love messes with
author's head and leaves him helpless as
assimilation proceeds apace.
"El
Comandante Returns!"
features our exclusive Comandante Karma Interview,
with Stupid White Men, Accidental CyberDog, and the
Return of the Lost Ancestors." Mysterious web
entity arrives with his own special brand of chaos
for R-rated session!
"What
a Gig!" features Free
Speech and Responsibility, Great Airport Slander
Revisited, and Why Even Columnists Get the Blues.
How to get on the Internet and write good, and why
the biggest targets are the best.
"The
Big Burn". Special
Bonfire Edition features Bag of Weasels, Windows
Idiocy, More Cheap Homes on the Prairie, and What
to Cut. There's a reason you want to torch that
pile, and our intrepid columnist shows why fire is
your friend.
"Fired
Up!" features iMac
Verdict, Flying with Weights (and Advertising), and
Goosed from Stirring the Big Pot. Author gives
iMac, Apple, AirBus, and Denver Airport the
attention they deserve: take cover and read at own
risk!
"The
Geeks Don't Get It"
features Flying Sardine Cans, Honey-Mustard Hell,
and Hanging Out in Tucson with Mother's iMac.
Author flies to Arizona (somehow) and finds true
computer love, no steenking floppies required!
"Kayak-Cam
Cruise". Labor Day
Special! New QuickCam Capers, Floating Flybait, and
Country Living Beside the Megalopolis. Author and
PowerBook 540c hit the high seas for QuickCam shots
to thrill and amaze. . .
"Lost
and Disconnected"
features Explaining the Human Interface,
Billionaire on the Stand, and Why the Farmers Have
No Trees. Eco-idiots run amuck and empires totter
on the brink as author fights for Macs and the
planet.
"Follow
the Fun" features No
Time Like the Present, Composting Your PowerBook,
and How to Be Happy and Live Different. A handy
one-step guide for just about everything. Bundled
with QuickCam capers and free parables!
"Abducted
by iMacs" features Alien
Conspiracy Exposed, West Texas UFO's, and Help, the
iMacs Have Taken My Mom! Prairie pod-cars seed iMac
invasion amidst the buffalo skulls, and where is
YOUR mother tonight?
"The
Unimagined" features
Multi-level Mac Trip, West Virginia Ups and Downs,
and Granny's Father's Saddlebags. Birthday boy
rides PowerBook on ancestral quest and finds
meaning in the mystery.
"Portable
Thrills"features So Much
to Do (So Little Time), Bad Pre-colonial PR, and
Floppies as Survival Food. Author goes mad with
PowerBook possibilities, plans sea cruise and
portable life. Stay tuned!
"Demon-Catcher"features
Road-Trip Roundup w/ Free Therapy, How to Act
Different and Get Stuff, and Where's the Damn
Outlet? Road warrior does good and goes beserk, but
a good time is had by all.
"The
Mac That
Wasn’t"features On
the Road! High-Speed Heartland Highjinks, PowerBook
Madness, and Secrets of the Geeks. Author learns
you get what you pay for as he roams the prairie to
seek relief.
"iMacs
and Apple Pie"features
Gold-Plated Idiot, Why Being "Good" Is Bad, Mothers
Want iMacs, and Hey, Where's My Slice? A valuable
lesson in how not to become roadkill on the highway
of life, plus a free real-life pun!
"Natural
Wonders"features Where's
the Damn Cat, How Do You Want to Die Today, and the
PowerBook That Wouldn't Quit. Microsoft tells the
truth as stunned author seeks solace in SCSI
madness with the Amazing Immortal
PowerBook.
"Picking
the Moment"features
Low-Level Lawn Formatting, PowerBook Madness, and A
Lesson From John Deere. Why take care of business
when you can dream? Self-absorbed web jockey falls
prey to laptop lust and wavers on the
edge.
"Solstice
Sayonara"features
Heat-Crazed Englishmen, Sending Mary Off, What I
Did, and Guess Why Mom's Calling from Arizona.
Summer begins with Mary in Maine as
humidity-maddened author vows to Think Simple next
time.
"Loose
Ends" features PowerMac
Angst, Snatching Mary's Mac, and Take My Life But
Leave Me My Computer! Weird crashes and juggling
CPUs leave truck-drivin' man without an interface
to call his own.
"Blind
Leading the Blind"
features Teacher Is a Dope, Mary Gets RAM, Just
What ARE All Those Things, and What Women Like.
Octogenarian learns safe way to pull the plug as
author changes gears and gets smart (we
hope).
"I
Love This Stuff"
features Verboten at Parties, Aunt Mary Marches On,
and What's That Lying on My Information Highway?
Digital dreams keep the lessons coming as author
revisits where the coyotes and the antelope
play.
"Oh
My!" features Warm
Buicks in the Sun, One Cool Mac, Mary Meets
Cyberspace, and How'd You Do That, Anyway? Author's
85-year-old aunt goes from ignorance to e-mail in
one short week with four-year-old Mac!
"Mary's
Mac 1.0" features PC
Angst, Cool Human Tricks, A Gift from Japan, and
My, What a Nice Little Computer You Are! Author
matches PowerMac with 85-year-old newbie and lives
to tell the tale (so far). . .
"Strong
and Simple" features
Shoes Make the Man, iMacs Rule, Bad Interface
Blues, and How to Fix Just About Everything.
Parable of simplicity reveals why peanut-butter and
chocolate taste better on a Mac.
"Bee-YAWL-tinnuh"
features Techno-Frenzy, Big White Rabbit, Bronze
Age Bacchanal Revisited, and E-Mail from the Head
Druid. Magic bunny shows clueless author how to
keep the beat as CEO-shaman exhorts Mac masses to
go forth and multiply.
"CrashGate
'98" features God Loves
Comedy, Web Wimps, Trouser Browser, and Don't
Worry, the Air Force Uses Windows. Current events
cause maddened clown to seek solace in paranoid
art-rant. Do try this at home!
"Earth
Day Auguries" features
Yips But No Yappy-Dogs, Native Wisdom, and What
Pigs Really Want From Us. Attempts to reason
ring-neck's return brings relevance from the
Bitterroots and visions of porcine paradise.
"Epilogue:
Still Dead" features
Money Can't Buy Them Love, He's a Heavy (He's My
Brother), and Heroes Bustin' Out All Over. Why you
can't believe everything you read and how to win
big anyway.
"Redmond
Requiem" features Death
in the Daffodils, Windows Masochists, Angry Gods,
and Abusing the Elderly for Fun and Profit. Giant
rots at the head and mutiny grows while the world
pays a price, but not for long.
"Crossing
Over" features Ain't It
Grand, Borg Mantras for PC Refrigerators, and Yow!
Are We Evangelizing Yet? E-mail ecstasy on the way
to Paradise distracts cuz from sinking platform,
but help is on the way!
"I
Love You, Man!" features
I Married a Mac, Crimes Against Nature, Those
Steenking PCs, and When to Walk Away From It All.
Take an exciting trip over the edge with this
hopelessly biased, pro-Mac, pro-planet song of
praise, free rant included.
"Speed
Thrills" features
Freeway Fangios, the Mysterious Pink Flash,
Dead-Tree Epiphany, and Tossing Out a Tow-Rope to
Tomorrow. Suburban speedsters expand the envelope
and dead-tree edition rides into the sunset, as
author grabs mouse and steps on the gas.
"Power
Humans" features Deja
Plumber, Dr. Mac, Greedheads Revisited, and How to
Power Up and Be Yo'self. Rants and revelation while
waiting for water leave everyone comfy and
clean-smelling after all.
"Bailing
Out" features Solar
Eclipse, ISP Blues, Cheap House on the Prairie, and
Learning From Swans. Internet dies and author
walks, waiting for wisdom as demons swallow the
sun.
"Two-Edged
Sword" features
Dictionary Love, Search Engine Salvation, Dead
Fish, and Why the Mountains Are Calling. Dual
epiphanies wreck poultry industry and lead a lady
to the light as computers free mankind and help
kill a college.
"Interview:
Comandante Karma"
features Comandante Karma, Mexican Hackers, Senator
Hatch, and No Mo' Mummies. Exclusive Farr Site
interview with Web provocateur shows dangerous
consequences of online journalism as camera
crunches and lawyers cock their ears.
"Virtual
New Mexico" features
Chile Lights, Warrior Rabbit, and Overcoming True
Peril in the Wilds of Delmarva. Organic virtual
reality, willpower, and the World Wide Web make a
heady, empowering brew.
"Vision
Quest" features Web-Cam
Satori, Strange Artifacts, and How Mouse Rattle, MD
Got Its Name. Author rides video highway from High
Plains to outer space and back, finds mystery
object and rodent riddle.
"Can't
Keep a Good World Down"
features Ghost in the Night, Floating Free, and
Naked Scandinavian Grandmothers. Inebriated coot
precipitates existential rant as web jockey reaches
for Sauza and shot glasses.
"Don't
Fence Me In!" features
How We Got Radios, Viva Web Frenzy, and Why You
Can't Buy a Ticket to Paradise. Amazing parallels
between early days of radio and the Web prompts
author to exhort the masses!
"Beginning
of the End?" features
the Pony Express, Mark Twain, the Age of Aquarius,
and What to Feed a Dinosaur. Technology changes the
way people visualize their world as the whole
process gets a cosmic boost.
"Cyber-Hype
in the Heartland"
features Xmas in Iowa, Cool Grannies, and How to
Drive Really Fast Without a Speedometer. A holiday
road trip to the Midwest finds our hero searching
for signs of computer life in the strangest
places.
