KINGS OF KOMMENTARY

How many things can you say about a refrigerator or a Buick?

While it's utterly true that your Macintosh is not a mere appliance or transportation device, it also happens to be the case that Apple Computer is, well, a corporation. (Duh!) Certainly not a "mere" corporation, but a corporation just the same, one based in California, I might add. Let that sink in a bit.

California is a fine and wondrous place (yes, I have been there, once), and it is truly different from most other parts of North America. Mistaking a certain uniqueness for hipness, however, numerous individuals and media outlets have been busy promoting the idea that as of this moment, there is no finer application of human energy than to invent a new digital widget and become remarkably rich! If anything else is worthy of our attention, we are hard-pressed to find any mention of it.

As the orgy of greed proceeds, vast numbers of business and entertainment enterprises hoping to connect throw themselves with abandon onto the heap, in ironic contrast to the exclusive nature of what represents the "cutting edge" of anything. Popular perception is overwhelmed by titillating tales trumpeted deep into the hinterlands, and small-town newspapers abandon sensible themes like why the schools are so bad in favor of "Home Town Dropout Scores Big!" stories. Sadly, the constant clamor over the "new economy" leaves little space for question or debate, thus begging the question of what, if anything, is really new in the first place.

We could surely use a little quiet, though, because true innovation and revolutionary ideas require a modicum of peaceful reflection and meditation. Notice I'm not saying that great ideas aren't born in the midst of excitement and chaos, but it doesn't hurt to be able to go off into a quiet corner of one's brain and rest for a spell. (Ask any real visionary, if you can find one!) And while one can always hope for beauty to emerge out of madness, I fear that we will have to wait for the current frenzy to subside or be quelled before we hear what the angels may be whispering.

But what of refrigerators, Buicks, and the "Kings of Kommentary"? Do similar dynamics apply to the current proliferation of Macintosh Web sites?

Well, from this writer's perspective, there is at least one clear danger sign: besides growing weary with all the hype about 16-year-old celebrity CEOs and feeling evermore disturbed by the disproportionate attention lavished on them and their enterprises, I find it increasingly difficult to justify talking about, praising, or damning Apple Computer Inc. and all its products on a daily basis. Generally speaking there isn't much news anyway, and most of us who write for the "Mac Web" (a self-serving term I usually avoid) have plowed the same ground repeatedly so many times that it is difficult for anything new to grow. This has regrettably failed to discourage the would-be moguls of Macdom, who instead of recognizing that the cloud of dust they have raised is a sign of too many mules in the same field, have taken to writing about the dust itself!

A: " APPLE SUCKS [rocks, is a big meanie, kicks butt, etc.] !"

B: "Hey, you said 'Apple sucks!' What are you, nuts?"

A: "I'm nuts?! You're the one who likes OS X!"

B: "Yeah, but just wait 'til Jobs intros 32-inch iMacs!"

A: "What's that got to do with the 'Rights of Mac Users'?"

C: "Geez, will YOU TWO shut up?! You're giving us all a bad name!"

A & B: [together] "Who the hell are YOU??"

Everyone, it seems, has an opinion. This is not so unusual, but what differentiates Mac writers with opinions is that we seem unalterably convinced of our right to be heard! Just take a gander at this press release blurb from yet another new Mac site:

"[Name of site] will focus on All [sic] things related to writing on the Macintosh. On the front page, you will have a complete listing of all articles/columns being published that day related to the Macintosh. We will not reject anyone who submits a link to his or her Mac oriented article unlike all those other sites."

Egad! Can you spell "editing"? They sure can't. This isn't a Web site, it's a bulletin board.

My colleague Rodney O. Lain once published a column about the emerging literary genre of Mac writing. I responded to his astute observations with a column of my own entitled "Help, I'm an Art Form!" and for a time there was indeed the equivalent of a literary boomlet. This movement is now sputtering along at reduced volume in the form of sincere, insightful essays by a few excellent part-time writers, each of whom could probably have a major impact on humankind by writing full-time on broader themes. Literary genre or not, to the assured disappointment of some, there will never be "famous Mac writers" appearing on TV talk shows, just as there will never be a slot for famous "Buick writers." (Yes, I know, the late Don Crabb appeared occasionally on television, and a few others have enjoyed fleeting moments of visibility, but none of them are household names or ever will be unless they attract attention for other reasons. . .)

Nonetheless, there continues to be a need for this kind of writing, because Macintosh computers are different, appeal to the emotions of the users, and consequently have the power to inspire creative individuals to heights of great achievement. They are also "cool," aesthetically appealing, reliable, and for the most part great fun to use. They are not refrigerators or Buicks, but rather devices for empowerment and expansion of consciousness. There, I said it. But "news"? "Literature"?? I dunno.

However, and this is a BIG however, throughout this process of writing about Macs I have experienced the coming together of a very talented group of like-minded souls in cyberspace, a human event of inestimable consequence! As friend and fellow Internet columnist Beth Lock would say, "Isn't the Net cool?" Some of these people will be famous, become fabulously rich, change the world, or all three, I have no doubt. What most of them have to say right now on the subject of Apple and the role computers play in their lives is valuable not for what it says about a particular corporation or machine, but what it reveals about the writers' gifts and values. There is something at work here, but it is not directly related to this machine. Indirectly, yes, but there are deeper, quieter forces involved.

If you try to listen to what's happening in Cupertino, you won't hear much, and yet every few months or so, something really cool emerges (this is no coincidence). I humbly propose, therefore, something that will never happen: that nine out of every ten Mac Web sites do the right thing and just pull the plug! (Gulp!)

"WHAT??"

Yea verily, I say unto you, ye webmasters and Kings of Kommentary,"Go forth!" Venture gladly with your Macs into the world and do something with them instead of endlessly nattering to and fro! Write a book, create an art form, organize a community, save a species, invent a new digital widget, for all I care. You could even start a different sort of Mac site! (HolyMac and MacCreator come to mind.) Out of the blissful quiet will arise new ideas, I guarantee it.

Got that? Nine out of ten of us will just shut down, cease operations, shut the hell up, OK?

(You first!)

John H. Farr edits the Apple Computer News for Applelinks.com and invites your comments. The Farr Site Archives will take you to the past two years' worth of columns. John also writes his WebFaust column for MacAddict.com and a monthly op-ed page column called "El Emigrante" for Horse Fly in Taos, NM. His Zoo Zone site may blow out your speakers and leave you severely disturbed, but go see for yourself.

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November 20, 2008