Steve's Next Joke

by: Conrad Gempf

When a good comedian gets on stage -- a Steven Wright or a Billy Connelly -- you're smiling, even laughing when they start a story, even before they get to the funny bits. Anticipation. They've made you laugh before, you trust that they can do it again, and you think they're going to do it any minute now, and you're smiling already.

I don't think I'm alone in having been pretty completely surprised by the iMac. I've been delighted before; I'm old enough to remember when Hypercard first appeared, and Switcher and the literally revolutionary Radius pivot monitor. But the looks, the lack of floppy, the fast Ethernet, the advertising budget, of the iMac was simply overwhelming.

And now I don't think I'm alone in waiting for Steve to do it again. He hasn't even started telling the next story and already we're smiling in anticipation. Yosemite won't surprise us too much. We're expecting it to be translucent and cool and it will be. There'll be an unexpected wrinkle or two -- built-in bay for a Palm, perhaps? But the main tale we're waiting to hear him tell is the consumer portable.

It will have to go a long way to surpass the company's previous offerings. The G3 Powerbooks are only the latest triumph in the very hit and miss history of Apple portables. The Duo and the much maligned Newton were amazing pieces of kit as well. Imagine if Steve had stage-managed the introduction of the Duo and Dock concept! Or if they had put more money into the Newton marketing once the handwriting recognition had improved! How is he going to go beyond those innovative machines with their impressive tricks? I don't think that simply casing it in translucent plastic is going to make it, even if he picks a new colour (rust or burnt orange might make a nice change). And the Duo and Newton already came without a floppy, so that won't do it either.

But there'll be something. I don't know how, but he's got me believing him. Somehow, against all the odds, I am sure he's going to pleasantly surprise me. Bluetooth? Wireless internet? Heads-up display wired to Oakley-style sunglasses? I'll believe it. I'm ready for it. And I'm smiling and reaching for my wallet already. Aren't you? Billy Connelly, move over.

Dr Conrad Gempf lectures in London and has had articles and product reviews published in such print magazines as *MacUser UK*, *MacTimes* and *Program Now*. He is webmaster of and regular contributor to the online webzine 'Pages for You' at http://www.londonbiblecollege.ac.uk

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March 16, 2010