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By Applelinks Senior Editor John H. Farr
An article has been posted at MacSurfer alleging that Apple may be redesigning certain hardware items, with the qualifier that "beyond these vague details, little else is known at this time." We wish to inform Mac users all over the world that this is completely false. We do know about Apple's plans, and there will never again be the slightest revision, upgrade, or redesign of a single Apple product for any reason whatsoever, not now, not for Macworld Expo San Francisco, not for next summer, never. No. Believe it.
Every product currently sold by Apple has been delivered unto Jobs from on high, is graven in stone, tattooed on the back of his eyelids, and set down as Eternal Dogma forever and ever, to be ignored, revised, improved, expanded, deleted, recolored, discounted, bundled, or spiffed up only at the terrible cost of plagues of grasshoppers, frogs, venomnous snakes, pill-addicted rightwing commentators, jabbering stock market analysts, screaming hordes of turbaned terrorists, and other assorted worldwide cataclysms of nature, not to mention damnation in the hottest depths of hell until the last grain of sand has dissolved into sub-atomic particles and dispersed to the farthest reaches of the universe.
Doubt this at your peril, for your editor has experienced the Unspeakable White Light of All That Is and will bear the scars on the retina of his psyche forevermore.
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