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Yesterday, reader Mark St. John brought my attention to a Web site, ostensibly posted by a Baptist organization calling itself “OBJECTIVE: Christian Ministries”-- in particular a rant bylined “Richard Paley”, which, among other tirades, tears into Apple Computer has being an evil, fifth column conspiracy to convert unsuspecting users into idolatry and to promote godless Darwinism.

Some of the commentary was a hoot, talking about OS X being based on an older, obsolete OS called “BSD UNIX,” Open Source licensing being just another name for Communism; and Apple Computer’s founders having been “long haired hippies” who supported 60’s counter-cultural “values.” Then there is the Apple logo -- an apple with a bite taken out of it. -- clearly a reference to the Fall. And so on.

Here’s a sampling:

On a quick scan and skim, this looked like a genuine, if extreme, example of a certain species of conspiracy theorism and paranoia that unfortunately infects some branches of fundamentalist Christianity. I replied to Mark St. John, making a few comments and giving examples showing that there are plenty of Christian Mac fans, that this site was nut-case radicalism, and that the best response to the ignorance and foolishness presented was a good laugh.

However, upon closer scrutiny, it became evident that the site is not even that, but rather an extremely elaborate hoax, obviously crafted by some person or persons with both more than passing familiarity with the Bible and the motif and style employed in certain strata of American Christian fundamentalism, as well as more than casual knowledge of the Macintosh orbit.

Reading the sidebars and banner ads was an indication that something was out of whack here, even by the low standards set by various crass, money-grubbing, paranoiac televangelists. There was an ironic, parodic edge to the come-ons that just wouldn’t exist on a real white bread evangelical Web site.

Secondly, I have been involved in evangelical Christianity for over 30 years, and I had never heard of Richard Paley, or the institution where he supposedly teaches Divinity and Theobiology: Fellowship University (“theobiology” -- gimme a break!). Nor had I ever heard of “Marian County,” where Paley claims to have “spearheaded the movement to stop Evolutionism from being forced on the children.” The only result that turned up in a Google search for his name was this particular Web site. Also, his email address is given as “drdinosaur@covenant.org,” a nonexistent address.

I then checked out the bio page blurbs on the other Objective “staff,”#PALEY; and discovered that they all appear to be caricatures of fundamentalist stereotypes. The “favorite Scripture passages” were a particularly subtle touch.

For example Objective’s Treasurer notes that you ever need your taxes filed, he’ll give “a 5% discount for all Christians and 10% discount for non-Christians willing to convert on the spot." (Matthew 22:17-22).

Or Pastor Jose Rosas of the ecumenical Catholic Outreach Baptist Ministries... most of the Pastor’s flock are too poor to own computers, [but] they are still a valuable asset for raising the awareness of more affluent Christians." (I Corinthians 8:1-13)

Or Kyle Goldman, who “started out hating Christians. He listened to anti-Christian music, played violent video games, and created a website attacking various Christian organizations ... However, this all changed when he found Jesus. Since then he has gotten himself cleaned up, has started listening to Christian rock, and is now a respectable looking young lad. His parents - being Jewish - were hesitant to accept his new found faith, but they do consider it better that Kyle is now following Jesus instead of Marilyn Manson. Kyle has been helping us maintain our website since finding Jesus and is now attending Fellowship Christian High School."(John 8:32)

Then there is the “Kids” page, where one “Spiritual Safety Tip” reads:

Just a bit to over the top parodic to take seriously.

"Objectivity" is not a bona fide anti-Apple site, but it is an anti-Christian site. It’s extremely well done, if mean-spirited, parody, but I have to wonder about the motivation and mentality behind taking this much trouble in the interest of making Christian fundamentalists look like idiots. Regrettably, too many of them do a fine job of that for themselves.

As I affirmed in my brief comment yesterday, I try to be a serious Christian. I started out as an evangelical, and am now also an Anglican Catholic, but I continue to have a high regard for the evangelical movement, the vast majority of which does not fit the exaggerated caricature of the nutball fringe being japed by these hoaxers.

I believe that the universe is a product of divine creation -- God’s handiwork, but I am not a young earth creationist -- a believer that the earth was created just five or six thousand years ago. I believe that the biological component of our humanity is indeed the result of some sort of evolutionary process -- the fact that we share about 97% of our DNA with the great apes being pretty strong evidence.

But I emphatically do not accept that our humanity is a result of that evolutionary process, and that our cleverness, imagination, ability to use tools, artistry, and many other things that distinguish us from even the highest nonhuman mammals are simply because we are just more highly evolved animals ourselves.

I don’t presume to know exactly how it happened, nor is my faith contingent on any particular explanation, but my personal best guess is that God breathed his “image and likeness” -- not physical but spiritual -- into a pre-existing biological being, at which point that being became human, self-conscious, capable of laughter, and aware of its inevitable death -- three other important distinctions we do not share with other animals.

That explanation will not satisfy either dogged young earth creationists or hard-core Darwinists (although the latter read more into Darwin’s theory than the anthropologist ever intended), but it satisfies me for now. As the Bible says, we now perceive reality and truth “as through a glass, darkly.” I have faith that in the fullness of time, all will be clearly revealed, and I’m happy to be patient and wait.

Charles W. Moore

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