Kirk Hiner's

"When thinking differently just isn't different enough."

Game On Eileen - Part II
or, Hello, Obsidian, how's the wife?

By Kirk Hiner

Actually, Obsidian's not on this list. Rocket Science developed that, right? I'm not sure if they did much else, but I wasn't terribly fond of Obsidian. It was proof that, sometimes, Myst knock-offs can be as bad as Myst sequels. Coincidentally, though, the soundtrack for Obsidian was done by Thomas Dolby, a one-hit wonder in his own right (and a Macintosh user, to boot), albeit an extremely talented one who certainly deserved more airplay than he received. Say what you like about Howard the Duck, the soundtrack wasn't half bad.

Nevertheless, here we are with what I've deemed the top 5 Mac game one hit wonders of all time (to see 10 through 6, click here. Hopefully, these games will bring back some memories for you...maybe even convince you to dig them out of the closet, fire up Classic, and give them another go. If you've never played them, a couple are still readily available. Those that aren't...well, it can't be too long before someone remakes these as shareware games, right?

Quick recap:

• 10. Postal - Running With Scissors, Inc.
• 9. Goofy Golf Deluxe - Squeegee Software
• 8. King of Dragon Pass - A Sharp, LLC.
• 7. Food Chain - Cajun Game
• 6. Nightfall - Altor Systems

05. Bad Mojo - Pulse Entertainment

Playing Bad Mojo is a lot like eating at Dick's Last Resort; it's not all that great and certainly isn't as entertaining as some might try to make you think, but everyone should experience it at least once. The premise in Bad Mojo is that your character is turned into a cockroach in some of the most horrific overacting ever displayed outside of a high school theater production of Our Town. As a cockroach, you have to solve a series of puzzles to move through the the bowels of a dingy apartment in an effort to regain your humanity. Spiders, stoves, cigarettes and such are your enemies.

Playing Bad Mojo is also a lot like watching that Christina Agulesbirsnaia video for "Dirty" in that, afterwards, you want to wash your hands for fear of contracting tuberculosis. It was that effective in being creepy and disgusting. The puzzle solving was kind of fun...for a while. You can only maneuver a cockroach around a soiled mattress for so long before you start to think that maybe turning this guy human again just isn't worth the effort; you might have to sit through more of his acting.

04. Galapagos (Mendel's Escape) - Anark Corporation

Speaking of bugs, that's pretty much what you've got in Galapagos. Only here, your bug is more like a robot bug of some sort. And here, you're not controlling the bug, you're controlling the environment. The bug moves on its own, you alter the environment to get it where it needs to go. The bug then adapts and evolves to get through its surroundings. Get it? Evolves? Galapagos? And you thought you were just killing time reading those National Geographics at the barber shop.

Unlike Bad Mojo, Galapagos was a little more successful in what it was trying to do. Just like Bad Mojo, its developers never returned to Mac gaming. It's a shame, too. This game really stood out from the pack when it was released, and it would still stand out today.

03. Giants: Citizen Kabuto - Planet Moon Studios

Here, we have the only Mac OS X game in the bunch. Planet Moon Studios is still around. In fact, they've recently announced their second game, coming to that xbox thing and the PC this December, called Armed and Dangerous. Not surprisingly, it looks a lot like Giants. Sounds like Giants, too, and why not? Giants was a wonderfully clever and funny game, and was the first to truly show off the power of Mac OS X. To this day, it's still one of the best looking games we've seen since OS X.

In Giants: Citizen Kabuto, you play three different races: the Meccaryns (five cockney space aliens trying to go on holiday), the Sea Reaper (a whispy creature of the water made famous by the censorship of...well, why would a sea creature wear a shirt, anyway?), and Kabuto (a giant beast created by the sea reapers for protection...and you just have to know that never works out as planned). Aside from this variation, the game is also part third-person shooter, part real-time strategy, and part A Bit of Fry and Laurie. One hit, yeah, but here's hoping more Planet Moon material is released to Mac audiences soon.

02. Starship Titanic - The Digital Village

From that, we come to the sadest story of the bunch. Starship Titanic and The Digital Village were the brainchild of author Douglas Adams, who died of a hear attack on May 11th, 2001. As with most everything Douglas touched, Starship Titanic was a wildly ambitious title that sought to bring actual human interaction back to adventure games. No more just clicking and watching as hypercard stacks load up, Starship Titanic actually allowed the player to talk to the charcters. You typed—you asked them your own questions, not one chosen from a pre-defined list—and nine times out of ten you'd get an answer that was unique and that actually made sense.

Now, as with all Douglas Adams games, the puzzles were well nigh impossible without some sort of strategy guide. Thus, a strategy guide was included with the game. It didn't matter, though, as the inability to solve the puzzles forced you to explore the ship more, and the ship was gorgeous. The graphics were great even by today's standards, and the design was of a caliber you just don't see in computer games...and most likely never will see again. That we'll never get another game using this technology is sad. That we'll never get more works of any type from Douglas Adams is doubly so. Rest well, Douglas. The world is that much less entertaining without you.

01. AMBER: Journeys Beyond - Hue Forest Entertainment

Every now and again, I get e-mail from readers asking where they can get their hands on a game. Sometimes, I can help them out. Sometimes, I can't. Unfortunately, AMBER: Journeys Beyond falls into the latter category. It's unfortunate because 1.) it's a great game, and 2.) I get asked about it so often that I'm starting to consider buying the rights and selling it myself.

And the thing is, AMBER is nothing more than a little adventure game. A little ghost story. It's so little that it slipped past most gamers when it was released. Yet, I honestly don't think we've had a basic adventure game this good since. The thing about AMBER isn't that it was overly original or all too clever, but that it was very effective in meeting its goals. Every puzzle actually fit into the story, as opposed to just being dumped in to give the gamer something to do. Say what you like about Myst and all of its sequels, but they were simply collections of random puzzles that contributed only to the mood of the game, not to the plot. In AMBER, the puzzles arose from the story, not interfered with it. Also, it was effectively creepy. The developers knew how to scare the player, not just startle him, and there's a big, big difference between the two. A difference not even Hollywood seems to understand anymore.

My copy of AMBER has long since disappeared, as has Hue Forest. I think you can still find copies of the PC version, but I haven't been able to turn up a Mac version in over five years. Pity. A good scare, and a good adventure game, is a hard find these days.

And that, my friends, is my list of the top ten Mac game one hit wonders. Disagree with my choices? Thank God. The last thing this world needs is for more to people to think like I do. But hey, better you think like me than like the producers at VH1 or like those godawful weekend radio DJs who put together those ill-informed top ten lists of their own. At least, with me, you know I care more about the subject matter than about kissing corporate and celebrity butt.

Well, that actually all depends upon the butt...

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