Kirk Hiner's

"When thinking differently just isn't different enough."

It's A Mac Mac Mac Macworld: 2001

By Kirk Hiner

So far in life, I've been lucky; I've never had to work directly with the public. I've never done phone support or been a bank teller or sold vacuum cleaners door to door. Well, I did run the cash register at the Dairy Queen back in high school, but I don't count that because back then I was dumber than any of the customers who could've come in wanting their Peanut Buster Parfaits.

My wife had been a bank teller before we were married, and she used to phone me regularly with horror stories of ridiculous requests and tantrums from their pantrons, upset because Tieraney wouldn't break the policies of a multi-million dollar financial institution because the patron didn't wake up on time and was now going to be late getting her daughter to ballet practice unless Tieraney cashes the $2,000 personal check without manager approval.

This is why I was hesitant to work the Applelinks booth at Macworld Conference and Expo in New York this July. My previous Macworld duties consisted of walking around and looking at stuff, and if it looked iteresting, setting up interviews if I hadn't already. Not so, this year. Well, I still set up interviews, but once they were finished, I raced back to the Applelinks booth to answer, for the umpteenth time that day, "So what is Applelinks?"

To be honest, we didn't get this question as much as I would've thought. Most of the people knew who we are, and those who did were always quite happy with our service. It was always gratifying to hear, "I have you guys set as my home page," or "You're my first stop every morning." It was less gratifying to hear, "Are you Charles Moore?" Just once, I should've said yes, only I'm not sure if I would've been showered with compliments or smacked over the head with a led pipe.

Back when Tieraney would tell me bank teller stories, I'd often remind her of a phrase I picked up from an ESPN football ad; "There's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people asking questions." I can happily say that none of these "stupid people asking questions" stopped by our booth. We were mostly met with the inquisitive, and occasionally the snobbish. I found it odd that some people would raise their nose at our little iClock, as if they are better people than us because our product doesn't have a radio or can't fry up bacon. "It can tell the temperature, beautiful people! What more do you want from me?! What more do you want from me?!"

Some of the other vendors, apparently didn't have it so lucky. Being one of their own, now, many of the companies represented on the show floor were quick to share with me their antecdotes of bizarre questions and requests, which I won't relay here for fear the perpetrators may be reading this. Gaming companies have it especially rough because they get bombarded with questions from eight-year-olds. I'm not sure who brings kids this age to an Expo, but Apple surely accomodated them this year with the Apple Gaming Theater, or Apple Child Daycare Center, as it should have been called. They may as well have set up a bunch of those plastic slides and put a sandbox or two in there. From what I understand, Jason Whong of MacPlay will have a feature role in the next Babysitter's Club book.

That's not to say I didn't love the Gaming Theater, of course. The network of computers, always packed with people playing everything from first-person shooters to card games, was reminiscent of the old National Macintosh Gaming Championship, only without the competition. Apple also provided a stage where game developers could use the big screen to show off their latest wares. Had I not a collection of interviews and a booth to work, I could've probably spent a full day here...me, my fellow geeks, and a bunch of eight-year-olds in "Pokeyman" T-shirts.

All in all, the developers seemed much happier with Apple this year. There's still the resentment that Apple keeps them in the dark about their upcoming technologies, but the concern over OS X appears to be fading. Most of the developers to whom I spoke are quite happy with the new OS, and even prefer it over the Classic OS. Either that or they're lying to me, which is certainly possible. After speaking with developers and customers all day for three days straight, I can be told a new program was developed with a Timex Sinclair 1000 strapped the belly of an elephant and I'd believe it. "So, can this software be networked with other elephants? Is it compatible with just elephants or with colobus monkeys and ocelots as well?"

Seems the only thing many developers are not happy with is New York. I guess I can understand that; I'm not so happy with it anymore either. I loved New York when I lived there, and I still love the people. I love the guy in Times Square with the big sign that read, "437 new sex positions!" (if he discovered them all, good for him!), I loved the young woman who sat down to witness to a homeless man, and I loved the angry lady who shouted to a bunch of confused and amused pedestrians, "Suck my ****." I also loved the "Lost Tribe," as always, preaching their racist sentiment to all of Times Square about how the "so-called white man" created the Internet to spread homosexuality across the land. Joe, we better get on that. As "so-called white men, "We're not fulfilling our duties.

Of course, I love the "normal" people, too; the ones who are simply looking forward to desert at Edgar's later or an afternoon skating through Central Park. What I don't love about New York is the rampaging commercialization.

New York--or more specially, Manhattan--is a city built solely to sell products. The city council must send an army of employees out every day in search of new areas to cram an ad for some alcoholic beverage or a new brand of underwear or even an Apple expo. Times Square is the best example of this. With its garish lights and massive billboards, Times Square has become a caricature of itself. It has become what misguided Las Vegas hotel developers think Times Square is. I lived on 44th between 6th and Broadway for three years back when it was nothing but some small restaurants and porn shops, and I'm glad I moved out before the development kicked in. Give me porn shop patrons over tour groups anyday; they at least try to be low key.

The software developers aren't speaking about the development of Times Square, of course, for they're hopefully not as cynical as I. Like anyone who doesn't actually live in New York City, I'm sure they'd much prefer the option to see another Disney musical than, say, Muffy the Vampire Layer. New York City residents, on the other hand, just prefer the option to get home with the least amount of hassle possible.

No, the software developers are speaking of the option to not break the corporate bank trying to show off their products. I've never been to Macworld Expo San Francisco, but every--and I'm not exaggerating here, every--company with which I spoke preferred San Francisco over New York. In San Francisco, the booths are apparently much cheaper and much larger. According to a few of the companies, some are starting to feel that two shows a year is too much for the Mac audience and are calling for the cancellation of the east coast show altogether.

I don't see this happening. Judging from the record-breaking numbers who attended this year, the New York show is at least popular with the consumers, if not the developers and publishers. Plus, it's extremely important for Apple to get heavy exposure with the Wall Street crowd, even if it's only to sit them through a lecture on megahertz.

Of course, a New York show is also important to companies such as...oh, say Applelinks. It's not all that difficult to load the back of Joe's pick-up with iClocks and T-shirts and drive from Long Island into Manhattan. Costly, sure, but certainly less than it would be to pack up and fly to San Francisco. New York may be more expensive, but it's also a lot more convenient for a large number of developers and vendors.

I point all of this out only to illustrate that if all companies have to be upset about is the rising cost and shrinking retail space of New York, then the state of Mac development is surely improving. I attribute this solely to OS X. Sure, some companies bailed from OS X, and there are still random quotes from developers about how much they hate the new OS, but on the whole, developers appear much happier with Apple these days. I think what some of the media missed early on is that Apple needs software developers to write their apps for OS X. And up from that need grows better communication, more support, and improved assistance.

It swings the other way, as well. Here now is a tremendous opportunity for developers to curry favor with Apple. I asked one developer why they were so quick to jump over to OS X with many of their apps, and the representative responded, "We've got a great opportunity to help Apple get OS X out there. Why pass up that chance?" Indeed, if Apple weren't trying to push OS X, would there have been an Apple Gaming Theater for developers to show off their OS X games, an area once all but abonded by Apple? This Expo was all about OS X and the developers who love it; consumers and media were just there to watch...and to possibly win an iMac (congratulations, Bobby!).

So here's to Apple for the life they've injected into the Mac community with OS X. Keynote aside, Macworld Expo 2001 had a much higher energy than last year's show, and I'm more optimistic about where Apple's going and who's coming along. Come New York or high water, Applelinks and I will be there.

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