Kirk Hiner's

"When thinking differently just isn't different enough."

Absurd Notion - Microsoft Buys Bungie, Applelinks Editor Eats Dumplings

By Kirk Hiner

In the world of professional wrestling, they call this a heel turn. In the world of rock music, they call this selling out. In the world of Macintosh gaming, we call it Monday.

By now you're all well aware that Microsoft has acquired Bungie. Yes, I too had to read it twice. Indeed, my first reaction upon visiting Inside Mac Games this morning was, "Kind of late for an April Fool's posting." But then I read the full article, and then I picked myself up off the floor. Bungie, our Bungie, has whored itself out to Microsoft. Now I know how a father must feel upon unfolding a Playboy centerfold only to see his daughter as naked as the day she was born.

It didn't take long for the tidal waves of this news to come pounding to the shores of Mac web. Every gaming and news site covered it, and everyone had an opinion. Some covered it cautiously, while others told us to stock up on water and rope and climb up the hill. Mac gamers everywhere begged the same question, "Why?! Why?! Why couldn't they have bought Sierra?! Doesn't Xbox need bad pinball sims too?!" And yes, I'll admit it. I considered trashing Myth II from my hard drive because, after all, I do have a Microsoft-free system. That and I can't seem to get past level 20, so it would save me many evenings of frustration.

Part of me thinks I should cry foul over this, to unpack my torch and cat-o'-nine-tails and take to the streets (ah, college, how I miss thee). Dr. Frankenstein must be stopped, after all. But another part of me thinks that those leftover steamed dumplings from Main Moon are going to taste good tonight.

You see, my happiness is not determined by Bungie software. I have a fiancee who loves me, a mother who makes the best chicken this side of the equator, and a God who gives me sunsets that are simply perfect for driving home in. Bungie, on the other hand, is a company. And like all other companies, they're out to make money. They're not out to appease my loyalty. I don't know Alexander Seropian from Adam, so should he pass up the opportunity to give Bill Gates' shoes a nice-spit shine simply because I think it's a dumb thing to do? Absolutely not. Business is business, and aside from those precious few such as Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Waterson--who refused to merchandise his wonderful creation and bowed out well before it became stale--people only create a product so that it can be sold. I certainly enjoy writing for Applelinks and I thank them for giving me a platform from which to spout my inane commentary, but would I take another writing job if it offered me more money? Yes, but only if it would cause Amy at Aspyr to hurry and get Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation in my hands.

Amy, for the love of all that's holy, where are you?!

But having said that, I understand that nearly everyone develops loyalties to corporations. I don't need to tell you that. If you had no loyalty to Apple, you wouldn't be at this site; I certainly wouldn't be composing this right now. That's what John Farr--with all due respect to my favorite Mac journalist--missed in his commentary earlier. For better or worse, we can't help but develop loyalties. When that loyalty is betrayed, we react. Passionately. Remember that New Coke fiasco back in the 80s? Remember the New Monkees? Remember...

...Word 6.0?

And gamers, well...gamers are a special breed. Mac gamers in particular. We're hyped on games for months. We download demo after demo, patch after patch. We fight for simultaneous release, and we cry foul if we don't get cross-platform network play. We're forced not only to defend our choice of games, but our choice of platform. So when one of our own turns to the dark side, you're damn right we're going to react.

But then we settle down, and we think about it. As I often tell my friends when I get upset, "Give me two hours and I can get past anything." It's been well over two hours, so...okay, Bungie. You're part of Microsoft now. Fine. Aside from having that name hanging over your head like the Sword of Damocles, what has changed?

Well, chances are we won't be getting Halo. I know you say otherwise right now, but we're not so stupid, we Macintosh gamers. And now that it's a Microsoft product, I'm not so sure I want it. Not out of hatred for Microsoft, but because I know what happens when small, innovative companies such as yourself get picked up by large, slothful corporations such as Microsoft; the product suffers. It's inevitable. Pull a second string quarterback off the bench and he'll throw 300 yards in one half to win a game. Sign that quarterback to a starting position the next year and he won't throw 300 yards all season. So Bungie, you can give Halo to Xbox. You may have a winning season with it, but you're not making the playoffs.

Oni and Myth now belong to Take Two Interactive. I think I'm okay with this. Through them, Gathering of Developers has already announced their intentions to release Oni for the Mac in October of this year (I will report on this soon). Beyond that, the decision of Mac releases will probably be made based on sales, and I'd rather have it be that than the whim of some Microsoft lacky. I know Bungie says the platform decision is still there's, and do you know what? I honestly think they believe that.

As for their other games in development...wait. What other games? Oh yeah, Bungie has no other games in the works.

And that's where I find my consolation. What have we lost as a result of this deal? Not much, if anything. Bungie will eventually quit developing games for the Mac, even if they don't know it yet, but I'm fine with that. There are so many other great companies out there who continue to support us. And if they stop? I'll be fine with that too. Someone else will step up in their place, and someone in theirs should the need arise.

This article, I fear, makes me sound bitter, but I'm not. I have nothing but respect for Bungie, and I congratulate them on their success. Any windfall they get from this deal is well deserved. They gave us Myth II, after all. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

And to Microsoft, well...congratulations to you too. Once again, rather than have to work for a living, rather than have to come up with even one original concept or develop one line of unique code, you were able to swallow up real talent so that you could vomit it back up in your name.

Which reminds me, it's time to go warm up those dumplings. Then I'm going go come back here and play...hmm...I think maybe Bugdom.

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Friday, 22-Aug-2008 00:19:06 EDT